soul searching.

cornelia street.

「❀」 play cornelia street by taylor swift

→ genre: drama and non-fiction (?)

૪'ރ፧ ࿐ enjoy!

Honestly, today felt like a morning after break-up... or something even worse. This might be the heartbreak that time could never mend. 

I awoke in my usual trance, oblivious to what lay beneath another dull day. If I could just take a long break from work, I would because every day since that day has felt like... shit.

I didn't make an effort to make my bed, comb my hair, or check my phone for new notifications. I simply did nothing, and this has been my routine for the past week. I approached the bathroom with a solemn expression, intending to fix myself and practice smiling for work.

At the age of 30, I am still a corporate slave. Just how am I living all these years?

I took a bath before preparing for another day of fighting for a living. But at what price? I can't even live my life the way I want to. Is there going to be another lifetime with... a hope to actually live?

I've always wanted to help the country in whatever way I could when the time came. As a privileged child in a sheltered home, I've always wanted to be a volunteer. We were neither rich nor poor; I've always lived in the middle. But I am aware that I am still fortunate to be able to eat at least three times per day.

The day-to-day worker who pays taxes that are far larger than what I actually earn.

It seemed fine to me at first. This is how I live. But I knew I deserved better, as does every Filipino.

I felt a timid vibration from my pocket as I locked the door of the low-cost condominium unit I own near my workplace. As I strode toward the elevator, I pulled it out. It was a Twitter notification at random. I furrowed my brows as I read it slowly.

💚❤️ @YOUniTeaF0rev3r

Eh Bakit ang Saya ng mga PINKLAWAN eh Talunan naman sila? 🤣

The keyboard warrior within me is gradually awakening, but I am resisting the urge to respond to these trolls. Most of the time, they have nothing better to do than ruin someone's day.

But, most importantly, they are all victims. Misinformation victims.

I checked my watch after exiting the elevator and discovered that I still had plenty of time before heading to work. Because it's only a short walk away, I decided to sit on the nearest sofa in the lobby to quote the tweet that I saw. Professionally.

Nelia CPA🎀 @NeliaMendoza  

If being a Pinklawan means you only choose honest, competent, and trustworthy leaders who are not prone to spreading fake news, then I am proud of being one. It's not a matter of winning or losing. It's still a matter of principles. #LetLeniLead

I let out a small sigh before deleting Twitter and going about my business. I will choose to keep my peace of mind in order to begin my day properly. I was not going to let anyone ruin my already miserable morning.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

After my duty, my boyfriend offered to pick me up from work, and I agreed because I missed him as well. He's one of the reasons I can still smile for a few moments these days even though the government announcements have been taking a toll on me.

His black Sedan was parked in front of our building in a hazard. My lips twitched in anticipation.

"Hi, love," he muttered before flashing me his signature eye smile. I kissed him on the cheek and smiled after properly entering the car. I noticed he's wearing the pink shirt we got personalized together when we went to a political rally. He truly is one of the best. We have been dating for two years already. 

We were on our way to dinner when we passed through one of the streets which made me feel conflicted. Anger, disappointment, and... hope that had faded. I noticed the sign.

Ayala Avenue.

And all I could think about were the pink balloons, ribbons, and flags being raised. They were shouting to the world that once upon a time, there was hope.

"It's only been a week since we began fighting for what we believe in here, and almost no traces of the rally can be seen," my boyfriend abruptly stated. "People thought it would only be during the election. No... we didn't fight for a one-time event. We didn't cancel our schedules and exert some effort and money just to win. It was more than that," I replied.

He clutched my hand and looked at me with sad eyes. He was present throughout the procedure. We were living in the hope that at some point in our lives, people would not be blind to the government's misdeeds.

In the sea of hope, there was him. 

Our tangled hands rest on my lap while he continued to drive along Ayala Boulevard toward our destination. 

My very own Cornelia Street.

Cornelia Street is an apt metaphor for something so precious to you. It is bitter and sweet at the same time, holding lingering memories of a bad ending. Going there again would only bring back the pain.

We want the next generation to know that the pink movement was massive and significant and that we fought for good governance. Because a good leader motivates. Because a good citizen chooses to have the ability to influence government policy.

We arrived at our destination and drove down Ayala Avenue. For the last time, I looked back and reflected. It's still painful, but it doesn't stop there. It will never end with a single election.

While still encircling his in mine, my man kissed the back of my hand. It was the sweetest gesture that made me fall in love with him again and again. A man with principles. I guess Kakampinks will always be the standard.

Last look and I reminded myself to keep the fire burning. 

Because the darkness is only for the blind. And we will keep fighting for what's right.

To the president we never had, thank you, VP Leni! 🎗️🎀

૪'ރ፧ ࿐ end!

♡∩_∩
（„• ֊ •„)♡
┏━∪∪━━━━┓
note: For me, everything

is political. And I guess

you should start thinking 

that it is too. <3

┗━━━━━━━┛

૪'ރ፧ ࿐ Cornelia Street by Taylor Swift

And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name

And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again