Matilda | Harry Styles

SEVEN

I glanced over at him. I wasn't sure if egotistical was the right word, but he didn't even appear surprised at this treatment. I wondered, after so many years living this way, how it wouldn't go to his head. If everywhere you went, you were greeted with such gratitude for even gracing their presence, or if you were showered in gifts and expensive tokens, treated like royalty - how couldn't you buy into it? I figured he had - he must have. Maybe that's why he had behaved the way he had done over the past few days, and why he didn't see a problem with it, or at least that was how it seemed. That was what I told myself. He was selfish, and he didn't care. That made it far easier to ignore him like he ignored me, even though deep down, I knew I didn't want to.

Harry took it upon himself to fill a shot glass for each of us, a burst of loud laughter leaving his lips at something Mitch had shouted to him over the loud pulse of the music. I'd never heard him laugh like that - authentic, genuine - almost accidental. He caught my eye as he filled another glass, and pushed it in my direction. I didn't know if I'd half-expected him to fill everybody's glass but mine, but I accepted it.

As Elin took some salt and poured it onto the back of her hand, she passed the small pot to me, encouraging me to take my own. I did so, and looked up to see that everybody else had taken theirs. Harry met my eye again, a glint of something that I couldn't quite distinguish in his gaze, as he lifted his glass between his fingers. The group turned to him, and I wondered if this was a tradition of theirs.

"To our first night here," he spoke, his eyes never leaving mine. "To the memories we'll make on this tour - I'm happy to be here with all of you. Cheers." Everybody responded to his toast by clinking our shot glasses together - including Harry reaching over to knock his against mine. Just as he brought his glass past my own, our fingertips brushed against one another's, and I caught his expression shift, only a little, but I caught it. I couldn't ignore the slight flutter I felt in my own stomach at our mere accidental touch, and I had to forcefully remind myself that tonight I was supposed to be ignoring him.

We took our shots, and with a wide grin on his face, Harry didn't hesitate to pour everybody another. I couldn't help but recall how we'd taken turns to refill our glasses at Johnny's the other day, the same unreadable glint in his eye as there was now; Harry was an entertainer. He seemed to enjoy sitting at the forefront of the group, leading the charge, but against my own inner protests, it didn't seem to be for an egotistical, self-serving motivation. Harry seemed like he wanted to make sure that everybody else was having the best time possible - their drinks filled, the conversation light and full of laughter. It seemed that even in the group of his friends, there was an element of performance to him - even now. I wondered why.

As my second shot of tequila slid down my throat, I relished in the burn it left behind, closing my eyes for a brief second. I reached for a wedge of lime, biting down on it.

Sarah stood up, clapping her hands together, "Let's get some more drinks."

Before I knew it, I found myself out on the dance floor, just mere metres from our private area with a drink in my hand. I didn't go out much, at home - I usually was too swamped with copious amounts of work assigned by the firm, and at most, I would spend evenings at Johnny's place, which certainly had an atmosphere far different to this one. But, I was university student, after all, and I did have Grace - that meant that, on occasion, I would find myself dragged to an overcrowded club, or bar, or even to another house belonging to a group of students for a very underwhelming evening. But with Grace, anything was fun. She would've loved to go to a place like this.

I finished my drink far quicker than I'd expected, tilting my head backwards to take my final sip. Elin sent me a gleeful laugh as I did so.

"Oh, good, you're done. I was about to suggest another," she took my empty cup with a wink, and Pauli joined her as they hurried back towards the bar. I turned back to Sarah and Mitch, who were dancing together, Sarah's arms thrown over his shoulders as they laughed, spinning clumsily around. I wasn't sure how many drinks they'd had, now.