is this love? // joseph quinn

012

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i swing open the door to my assigned caravan and slam the door shut behind me, i walked over to my purse in desperate need to find a cigarette.

with shaky hands still pumping with adrenaline i manage to open the packet and pull out a single smoke.

i placed it in between my lips and lit it, i sit in front of my mirror while running my hand through my hair.

i close my eyes as i inhale the smoke, i shakily exhale the smoke from my mouth and lay my head on my hand.

suddenly the door behind me swings open with force, i quickly look up and see joe in the reflection of the mirror in front of me.

for fucks sake

i lay my head back onto my hand.

"get out." i mumbled not daring to look at him.

"what the fuck were you thinking?" he raises his voice a little in a serious tone.

i laugh in a cocky manor and turn around to face him.

"what the was i thinking?" i say with a firm voice as i stand up from the chair slowly walking towards him.

"what the fuck was your psychic fuck toy thinking?" i added on.

"don't talk about her like that! she's my girlfriend." he says as he looks down at me.

i let a laugh escape my mouth.

"girlfriend? please." i scoffed as i rolled my eyes and turn my back on him, i walk over to the seat in front of my mirror and inhale more of my cigarette.

"don't just walk away from me like that!" he says as he starts to raise his voice more, he walks over towards me and leans down leaving our faces close.

"if you're gonna lecture me more about your girlfriend get the fuck out." i say exhaling the cigarette smoke into his face.

"you're fucking unbelievable." he says with an angry laugh and starts to walk over to the door.

"oh! i'm unbelievable? your bitch called me a slut and pulled my hair! you expect me to just stand there and do what?.. huh? let her think she's better than me?" i stand up walking over towards him, he turns to look at me.

"obviously not, you know what i mean charlotte."

"i promise you i could get that sluts address leaked within a second, everyone on twitter will know her name." i say as i took a step closer to him filling in the gap between us, i let a smirk escape my lips and i lift my hand up to his chest slowly running my hand down to his waistband

"got it?" i say with the smirk still plastered on my face.

he lets out a shaky groan and nods his head.

i tilt my head and smile "good." i push him out of the caravan and slum the door in his face.

i keep my hands on the door and let out a shaky breath, i turn around bringing my back up to the door, i let my body slide down.

once i felt myself touch the floor i pressed my knees up to my chest, a slow, singular tear falls out of my eye.

what the fuck just happened?
i thought we were good?
that scene felt like we were good.
those improvised kisses.
the improvised touching.
was it real?
was it real to him?
fuck this.

i grabbed my phone from my pocket and rang maya.

calling ahoy...