KEEPING TIME ; eren jaeger

chapter six: an altered future.

As you dwell within the sheets, you feel a much firmer wave of nausea overwhelm you, causing you to be rather swift, attempting to gift yourself the space of the bathroom. The feeling caused your whole body to falter, being in unexplainable pain as you journey your way over to the bathroom, attempting to open the door. Open the door to a degree you were able to get in, all as you place your hand on your mouth, trying to hold the content behind. The content of all the snacks you ate in the middle of the night. The unusual nauseous feeling never lasted for a large duration of time, nor had you almost thrown up over it.

Swiftly, you push the bathroom door open, your brows creasing as your fingers became shaky. You were growing lightheaded, all from attempting to hold back your vomit, trying to reach the toilet. In concentration, you allow yourself to lift the toilet seat, leaning against it as you threw up. The feeling was so overwhelming, it causes you to feel slightly faint. Faint as your eyes began to grow hooded, tainted with tiredness.

Just throwing up, in the toilet, a large amount of vomit leaving your lips, causes you to begin to slowly cry. You were in fear of what Eren's reaction was set to be, only if you were to inform him of what was occurring. Each tear, you release, was out of fear. Out of fear that he wouldn't aspire to pursue a child with you, moving on with his life, all as you remained as a solitary mother. It wasn't something you envisioned yourself moulding into; you had never been so afraid before. What if he was unable to look at you, lovingly?

In tiredness, you slightly rest there, attempting to regain your stamina. Naturally, you felt incredibly weak, rather faint, if you were to be honest. And knowing this fact, you knew it wasn't suitable for you to merely be alone — this could tarnish your health. Even so, you needed company, as you were tainted with a sense of loneliness. Loneliness from the pitiful feeling of being unsure if Eren would be willing to remain with you. It was all so overwhelming; you were fearful. You yearned to flee, but at what cost? You loved Eren more than anything; you would never just abandon him.

As you attempt to quell your loneliness, thinking about thoughts of him, you were met with a firmer wall of loneliness. In tears, you attempt to stand up, only for your legs to slightly be rendered useless — you were so brittle within this moment. Even as you peered to your side, being greeted with a small mirror that lingered, you were still greeted with the changes in your breasts. You hadn't told Eren about the changes, but it seems as if he had also noticed, allowing himself to whisper words you were unsure of.

Your areolas had darkened, obviously arousing him with a large amount of suspicion. Eren wasn't someone who would be left in the dark for too long; he would always be rather quick to find out. It was as if he had been noting down the changes within your body, taking them into account. The moment he would catch sight of a change within you, he would store them within his mind. It was obvious, he was set to piece every single thing together before you could even inform him.

Conflicted, you attempt to stand, struggling over to the sink, to clean the distasteful vomit in your mouth. The distasteful vomit causes you to want to throw up, unable to handle the unpleasant feeling of it. It was just so horrible, dictating every single part of your mouth. It causes another sense of urgency to well within you; you were so anxious. There was a stretch of panic wrapping around you, all as you attempted to rid of the aftertaste.

You were struggling, dramatically, tears in your eyes as you rinse your mouth. Just the thought of Eren took over your mind. It hordes you with guilt, leaving you feeling more mentally impaired than before. So with that, you knew it would be best to talk to someone about it. Instinctively, you would talk to Mikasa about it, but you had told her to head to the boys' assembly. She asked you if you desired to go, but you informed her that you weren't feeling well.