Only Exception

Chapter Five: Sudden Death

I could feel myself shaking.  It would be a shocker if no one else could.  There were so many people...  I panned my eyes over the crowd, looking for where Phil and Colton were seated, but kept getting distracted by the array of people.  There were a couple stragglers that had been cut in the back, crying.  Security guards were trying to usher them out.

“So this is the last group of the day...” the woman was saying, “And I wish you all luck.” I took a deep, shaky, breath.

The first girl in the line went.  Then the second.  And the third.  I was slowly calming my nerves.  Deep breaths.  We were on Sky before I realized that it was about my turn, and my breathing immediately sped back up.

I don't know how Schyler sung, because I was completely zoned.  She was walking back towards the line, smiling proudly.  She gave me a big thumbs up.  It was my turn.  I forced myself to take the few shaky steps to stand in front of the judges.  My eyes kept going in and out of focus. 

Everyone was looking at me.

“What's your name, sweety?” the woman judge again.  I took a deep breath, searching the audience.  And found him.

Phillip had scooted into my seat and was mumbling something under his breath to Colton, who laughed.  His nose crinkled up in the way I loved.  But he wasn't looking at Phil, he was looking at me.  He met my gaze, and gave me a huge smile, and a thumbs up.  Phil turned to face me, too.

“I'm Natalie Clarke.” it sort of came out as a squeak.  But it came out.

“Okay Natalie, lets see what you've got.” that was Steven.

I turned back to Colton and Phillip.  Phillip was mouthing something that looked suspiciously like 'sing louder.'  I fought the urge to stick my tongue out at him, and nearly lost.  I turned back to Colton, and zoned everyone else out.  And then I sang.

When I finished I couldn't believe it.  The audience clapped and I looked between the judges and Phil and Colton.  Phil made a face at me, and I smiled.

I'd actually sung in front of all of these people.  And I still wasn't shaking again.

I stepped back towards Sky, who caught me in a big hug.  I hugged back, still completely in disbelief.  I'd actually done it.

The judges deliberated, and the stage fright slowly started to come back over me.  But the worst was over.  Sky and I held hands as the judges turned back to us.  They asked a girl in the front named Haylie to step forward.  They asked Sky to step forward.  I dropped her hand so she could, and smiled at her.  Then they asked me to step forward.

“You three are all through!” the judge named Randy announced.  I could hardly collect my thoughts.  The rest of the girls on stage were breaking down.  I felt Schyler take my hand, excitedly dragging me from the stage.

Megaphone guy was trying to say something, but it was way too loud for anyone to hear him.  Schyler was still dodging through the crowd, pulling me along behind her.  Which was probably a good thing, because I couldn't have gotten through it myself.  The only downside was that I had no idea where we were headed. 

Then I saw Colton, just feet ahead.  Sky released me and attacked him in a hug.  He laughed and hugged her back.  Phillip was standing on one side of him, and Maggie on the other.

We were all through.

Phil smiled at me as I approached, and gave me an awkward pat on the back.

“Didn't we tell ya?” he grinned.

“Actually you told me that I needed to practice. Oh and also that if I sucked you would boo me.” I had to yell it in his ear, so he could hear over the sound of the contestants.  He laughed. 

The crowd of people was beginning to push into us excitedly, trying to find the door.  All I could see was people.  Everywhere.  I felt someone take my arm gently and guide me through the crowd, holding me with our group as we were bounced around the mob.  It was dizzying.  Eventually we found ourselves, somehow still together, back in the corner where Phillip, Colton and I had practiced.   The crowd was thinning, piling out the front doors.  I sighed in relief and Maggie let go of my arm.

“I don't know about you guys, but I'm starved.” she looked giddy.  And I didn't blame her one bit.

“I second that.” I glanced at Phillip.  He spoke casually but I could see him half clutching his stomach.  Something still wasn't quite right.

My stomach rumbled, and I pulled out my phone to glance at the time.  It was 1pm.

“Lets go walk.” Schyler suggested, “I'm sure we'll come across something.”

We nodded in agreement and headed for the doors.  The sticky humidity actually was a pleasant surprise after the stuffy air in the conference center.  Somehow the crowd had already completely cleared.  Most of them had probably headed back to the hotel.  Sky turned left and we followed, Colton coming up on my side.

“You did SO good.” he grinned, gently nudging me.

I felt my cheeks warm. “I couldn't have done it at all without you.” I replied honestly.

He shrugged, “I think you would've done fine.” We walked in silence for a bit.  Maggie and Schyler were skipping a few feet ahead of us, arms linked and laughing.  Phil was a couple steps behind us, looking deep in thought.  Small palm trees lined the sidewalk, and ahead I could see a little shopping center with a few restaurants.

“Nat, can I ask you something?” his voice was quiet. 

Something felt off, but I still responded with a simple, “Sure.”

“Earlier, before the auditions... When I came back from the bathroom.  You looked upset about something...” his voice trailed off, and he looked at me expectantly.

I nearly froze in my tracks.  I couldn't tell him about that.  I glanced back at Phil, who was now watching us, looking interested.

I hated to lie.  But I didn't know what else to do. “I don't know what you're talking about.” I knew it wasn't very believable.  My voice squeaked and my eyes were wide.

He studied me quietly for a moment.  Then he looked away, shoving his hands in his pockets.  His eyes were clouded with hurt and confusion.

I hated myself for being the reason for that pain.  Completely and absolutely despised myself.  But I didn't know how else to respond.  I looked down at my feet, trying to hide the tears that were pooling in my eyes.  I'd rather face sudden death a thousand times than tell Colton about Jack.