Maybe the dress just wasn’t right.
Hope twisted to look at it again. She had been standing in the front of the mirror for the last twenty minutes trying to figure out what was wrong with it. Maybe the sleeves were too short? The collar too high? The skirt too fluffy?
Maybe it wasn’t even the dress. Maybe her hair should’ve been up instead? Maybe her fingernails should’ve been a different shade? Maybe her makeup should’ve been a little darker?
Hope tossed the bouquet of flowers down in a huff. She couldn’t sit down in the fancy wedding dress, she couldn’t cry with her makeup professionally done, and she couldn’t see her soon-to-be-husband because he couldn’t see her in her dress before the ceremony.
She was grateful for the knock at the door.
“It’s open.”
The door pushed open carefully and Lizzie slipped inside, closing it right behind her.
“You’re not dressed,” Hope pointed out, eager to talk about anything but herself.
“Yeah.” Lizzie looked down at her clothes guiltily. “About that …”
Hope’s shoulders dropped. She was closer to tears now than she was before. “Don’t tell me there’s something wrong with the dress. Lizzie, I can’t take another thing going wrong today.”
“Wait, what else went wrong today?” Lizzie got sidetracked by Hope’s frustration. As far as she had heard, everything was going perfectly - except for Lizzie herself.
Hope’s mind spun as she tried to figure it out. “I don’t know. Everything? Or nothing? Just … tell me what it is.”
“You might want to sit …”
“I can’t in this stupid dress.”
“Okay.” Lizzie took a deep breath. “I can’t … Well, I can’t … Hope, I just can’t. I can’t be your bridesmaid today.”
Hope’s heart dropped to the floor. “What?”
Lizzie’s voice came quieter. “And I think you know why.”
Tears were brimming in the bottom of both of their eyes now. Hope brushed at hers as quickly as she could, trying to keep her gold eyeshadow in place.
“I ... I hope you know how much it hurts for me to tell you that I won’t be there for you today,” Lizzie continued softly.
Hope nodded, her face starting to twist with the effort not to cry. “I do know.”
“And I’m sorry.”
“I know that too.” Hope just kept nodding. She was going to cry. She knew it already. She wasn’t sure why she was still fighting it.
Lizzie wanted to reach for the other woman, but she was sure that would only make it worse. “I just … I can’t do that to myself.”
“I know.” Hope sniffled. She tried to hold her head up. “And I can’t ask you to.”
“Please don’t cry.” Lizzie had to wipe at her own eyes. “Because then I’ll have to fix your makeup.”
“Lizzie, I …” Hope wanted to tell her that she thought she was having doubts. That maybe it wasn’t the dress or the hair or the makeup that was wrong. Maybe it was something else. But she couldn’t give Lizzie that kind of hope if she wasn’t certain of her doubts.
“Right. I’ll just go.” Lizze opened the door. “I’m sorry again, Hope.”
“I’m sorry too.”
