heat of the moment - steddie

4 ; arcade

   The kids tire of all the games around 2pm, so we all pile into the car and I drive them back to Mike's house. They thank me as they exit the car, but only after Eddie leans back some and snaps at them.
"Hey, you guys not gonna thank Steve for picking you up and babysitting you?
"You offered to hang out, Eddie." Dustin spits, and Eddie's voice raises some.
"I don't care! Gas ain't cheap, Dustybun!" Dustin's face is almost red with anger and embarrassment at the name.
"Fine. Thanks." His thanks are laced with irritation as he crawls out of the car. Mike and Lucas are much more polite, with just quick and quiet 'thank yous' as they shuffle out behind Dustin.
"Where to, Eds?" I say as the back door shuts, and he looks back at me.
"I dunno. I'm sleepy."
"Already? It's not even 2:30." He shrugs.
"I usually sleep a lot later on the weekends. And during the weeks, I always nap when I get home from school." I hum.
"I can drive you home. Let you go take a nap. If you're that tired, I'm sure you need it." He just shrugs again, toying with one of his rings. "Do you want to go home?"
"Yeah, that's cool." But it seems like he's lying. I push the parking brake down, then tapping his knee a little. His eyes drift up to mine.
"Let's go get burgers. Yeah? Then maybe I can drop you off." A shy smile spreads across his face.
"Okay."
   I drive us to the nearest McDonald's. Eddie's put in a tape for us to listen to, some metal album he likes. I wasn't sure which band it was. He'd fished it out of his backpack and placed it in my cassette player, and told me "you need to listen to this" as he pressed play. It was cool. Metal's not really my thing, but... I guess that can change.
   We sit in the parking lot after we get our food, and Eddie seems sort of frustrated with me. He was acting all stubborn in the drive through, telling me I didn't need to pay for his and he would be fine, but I insisted. I think he's still pouty.
   But I quickly figure out how to make him feel at least a little bit better, as I see him smudge ketchup and mustard right beside his mouth with the first bite of his burger.
   "Hey," I say softly, and he turns to face me. "you've got... some ketchup..." My heart's beating so fast, but I've committed to this, at this point. Why the fuck not.
   I cup his jaw a little with my right hand, gently swiping the condiments off his cheek with my thumb. My hand lingers for a second, before I pull it back and suck the ketchup and mustard off my thumb. His face is bright red, and his chest is rising and falling pretty fast. Yeah, I'd say that sufficiently cheered him up. And maybe turned me on.
   "Um, I..." He stammers, looking down at his burger and chewing on his bottom lip. "Thanks..." There's a tinge in my heart, and I'm sort of worried I overstepped.
   "I'm sorry, was that too much, Eds?"
   "No, no, I... am just... sensitive at times..." I nod a little, taking a bite from my burger.
   "Well, me too... That's okay... It's normal." He shrugs, taking small bites.
   "Yeah. I guess so."
   "Hey," He seems to hesitate, but he looks over at me. "I'm serious. It's okay to be sensitive. Y'know, it's kind of better." A little smile tugs at his lips as he listens to me speak, and watches me wipe my fingers and my mouth clean with a napkin. "Like, I don't know why there's such a... weird thing... with, like, guys and being emotional. What's with that? A dude can't cry every once in a while?"
   "Then would you tell me why you were crying in the bathroom this morning?" My heart drops, and I swallow hard. I furrow my brow, trying to brush it off.
   "What do you mean?" He stuffs a couple french fries in his mouth.
   "I mean, I'm kind of dumb, but... I'm not deaf, Steve. You were either crying, or fucking yourself. And something tells me you wouldn't just do that in my bathroom." My eyes flicker down to the console between us. I feel sort of sick.
   "I don't know, Eds... Just a lot going on..."
   "I get that, Steve. I just... I wish you'd be honest with me. Tell me these things, man. I want to be there for you. I want to listen to everything you have to say, even if you think it sounds stupid or overwhelming or... whatever! I just... Please, Steve, talk to me... I want to be your best friend again..." He confessed to me, and I watch his face dampen with sadness. I feel terrible that I've made him feel like this. Again.
   "I'm sorry, Eddie..." He looks up from the food in his lap.
   "I'm not mad or upset with you, Steve. I just want you to talk to me, honey..." I blink a lot, my cheeks all red. I would not have expected him to call me that. "You can... tell me if that doesn't feel right." I shake my head.
   "No, no... It's okay..." He smiles to himself.
   "I'm not asking you to confess everything you feel to me right now, okay? Just... Please, keep it in your head that I am here to talk to you. You can call me literally any time, day or night. Wake me out of my fucking sleep, Steve. I don't want you to feel alone." I try to blink tears away, but they push too hard at my eyes, and I feel a couple run down my cheeks. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry..." I shake my head, sniffling and blushing as he cups my face a little. He looks around a little to see if anyone is watching or nearby. It's a small town. Rumors spread fast.
   He wipes one of my tears away with his thumb, and I nuzzle against his hand a little. The cold metal of his rings gives me a slight chill, but it's comforting. It's Eddie.

   I feel reluctant to take Eddie home. We've spent so much time together, and he's tired, and I know we just need to part ways, but it doesn't feel right.
   But against my wishes, I pull up in front of his trailer and pull the parking brake up. He sighs to himself, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder.
"Thanks for bussing me around, Stevie." I fight the blush from my cheeks.
"Of course..." He smiles shyly, seeming to hesitate with getting out. He pulls the handle and pushes the door open, but he stops himself before he climbs out.
"Steve?" He says gently, looking back at me so our eyes meet. Before I can respond, he leans in and cups my cheek like before, and kisses my other softly. My heart is beating so fast the whole time, and it feels like it only gets faster as he just lingers there.
But he pulls away, and gets out of the car, and waves to me as he pushes the door shut. I raise my hand to wave but barely can, instead I just watch him run up the stairs to his trailer.
My car ride home was filled with nothing but silence and the tape Eddie had forgotten to grab from my stereo. I felt like I was still blushing, like my heart was still racing. At this point it was beating out of my chest.
I couldn't stop thinking about the feeling of his hands and his lips on my cheek, and about the feeling of his breath on my face.
It doesn't leave my mind for the rest of the day, not while I ate dinner by myself in front of the TV, or when I took my shower, or when I tried to go to sleep.
   Fuck.