Jack: 7AM. Check out the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, kill them. Dispose of the body, and pick up Alba no later than 6PM.
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Ryan: Adam, truth or dare?
Adam: Truth.
Ryan: Was the moon landing of 1969 fake?
Adam: What?
Ryan: Answer the question, Adam.
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Ryan: Once you hit rock bottom, the only way is up!
Jack: Don't underestimate me, I've brought my pickaxe and I'm ready to dig.
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Jack: Yes, I'm all about love and light.
Jack: Love and lighting your house on fire.
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Adam, leaving to get more gummy bears: I'm going out.
Adam, turning to Ryan: Don't kill yourself.
Adam, turning to Jack: Don't kill anyone.
Adam, turning to the person who took his gummy bears: Die.
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Jack: I can't drive, I'm dumb!
Ryan, also dumb and on the road: *Sweats nervously*
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Ryan: I'm a miserable failure.
Jack: Yes, you are.
Ryan: I ruin everything I touch.
Jack: Yes, you do.
Ryan: I could really use some words of encouragement.
Jack: Yes, you could.
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(Adam coming home and laying in his bed after a long day of work)
Jack and Ryan: Wow, you would not believe the day we've had.
Adam: WHY THE F*CK ARE YOU TWO IN MY BED?!
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Adam, picking up his phone: Ryan?
Ryan, on the other end: We've got a problem at the apartment.
Adam: What kind of problem?
Ryan: Well, it's kinda-
Jack: *Distant maniacal laughing*
Ryan: Oh, Jack found the chainsaw. Nevermind! *Hangs up*
Adam: Ryan?!
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Alba, talking about Jack: He texted me "your adorable." I responded with "No, you're adorable." Now he thinks I like him when all I did was point out his grammar mistake. We've been dating for more than five years now.
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Ryan: I'm bored.
Jack: Want to commit a first degree murder?
Ryan: Sure!
Adam: No- stop. Don't do that!
Adam: Put the knife down right now.
Adam: Let go of Austin!
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Adam: That was a stop sign!
Jack, driving: I'll stop twice on the way back.
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Jack, having a breakdown: *Throws his head onto Adam's lap*
Jack: Tell me I'm pretty!
Adam, patting Jack's back: You're pretty f*cking annoying, that's what you are.
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The crew, watching Adam become the mom of the group:
Ezra: It's the milfication of Adam Met.
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YOU ARE READING
AJR Incorrect Quotes 2
Humorpart two of my incorrect quotes book. sorry if I put a quote more than once, I literally can't remember any of the incorrect quotes I've already used.
