Green Eggs and Ham: Extra Bit(e)s - E.B.

Helicopter Mom

Having an overprotective mother pretty much means no fun, even on your birthday. As luck would have it, today was E.B.'s birthday. Ten years old. She had definitely changed, but her mom never seemed to. Then again, if you have a job as boring and routine as a bean counter, would anyone really expect a lot out of you?

For her special day, E.B. wanted to do something other than go to a restaurant that's so safe, they pretty much chew your food for you or walk the halls of a museum (that art stuff never really piqued her interest). But she knew her mom would do one of those anyway. Now, E.B. loves her mom and everything, but even when they do nothing at all, she still wants to say "I've had enough."

Just then, Michellee walked into her bedroom, holding a couple balloons in one hand and a cake with a number ten candle on top in the other. "Happy birthday, Elanabeth!", she says. E.B. gasped. Not at the cake, she does get those every year, it was at the candle. To her mom, lighting a candle was the equivalent of riding a motorcycle off a ramp over a lava pit. After Michellee lit the candle and sang Happy Birthday, E.B. made her wish, which was: I wish that Mom would loosen up a little. She made that one at every opportunity, whether it was on her birthday, 11:11, or a shooting star.

"Are you ready for today, Birthday Girl?", Michellee asked.

"I guess...", E.B. said, fearing that her mom had something overtly safe and mundane planned.

You could imagine her shock when Michellee said, "Today, we're gonna do what you want to do."

"Really?"

"Of course. Just...you know, keep it safe."

Naturally.
——
E.B. chose the zoo. Nothing too bad about looking at animals from a distance. She and her mother walked around looking at the various creatures, the various habitats containing Moo-striches, Llama-nus, and a pit of slapping turtles. Those last ones in particular kind of rubbed Michellee the wrong way.

"What's going on over there?", E.B. asked, pointing at a tall cage that was being placed on top of a small hill.

"They're placing a habitat for a new animal we have coming in", one of the zookeepers answered.

"Oooh, what animal are they putting in?" E.B. now had a look of intrigue on her face. Even Michellee wanted to know, possibly to keep her daughter safe from it.

"A Chickeraffe."

"And what exactly is a Chickeraffe?", Michellee inquired.

"They're these bird-like creatures with pink feathers and huge beaks. There's only 17 of them left in the world, so we spared no expense to give it a home here. But there's one other thing a lot of people believe about them."

"What?" E.B. asked.

"They're rambunctious, possibly ravenous. From what I've heard, they even chew you up and blow bubbles out of you."

E.B. laughed and shook her head. "No, no, I think you've got them mixed up with...", started to say, but was cut off when her mother suddenly pulled her away. "Mom, what are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I don't want us sticking around with an animal like that", she said.

"But, Mom, it's not even here yet."

"I can't take that chance, E.B. I love you too much to let anything happen to you."

"How am I supposed to learn anything if you never let me live a little?" Michellee was taken aback by that. E.B. was afraid that her mom would start crying, probably from thinking about what happened to her dad when she was just an infant.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I hope that didn't come out wrong."

"You don't have to apologize, sweetie. Nothing you said made me upset. I just want you to be safe."

"I know, Mom. I love you."

"I love you too, E.B. You still ready for a great birthday?"

E.B. smiled. "You know I am."