His High

My mind.

 tw: drugs, intrusive thoughts

daliah.

The euphoric rush is a feeling that nothing can top. There is something about it that just feels right. It could be the way your mind wonders and doesn't stay on one topic for too long, or maybe the way it lasts for hours. It makes me feel better about myself and almost untouchable, like I'm on top of the world. It just feels sort of safe in a way. I never thought it would go this far. I can't go a day without wanting to escape my own mind. That's probably for the best anways my mind is toxic. But the high doesn't last forever, that's the worst part. It can cause me to act irrationally, making me do things I normally wouldn't do. It's like a completely different person except I don't like this version of myself, and my friends don't either. They know I do drugs at parties, but they don't know about all the other times. Which is a good thing because if they found out they would go all mom mode on me especially Blaise He's like my big brother.

My high is starting to fade away, it's 11pm and everyone is sitting in the common room talking about their least favorite mud bloods. Or at least that's what I've gathered from the 5 minutes my high has been gone. I look around as Theo gets way to passionate about conversation talking back to Malfoy, which is not a smart move because Malfoy is a very opinionated man. 

"Oh, fuck no granger is one of the worsts of their kind" Malfoy says sharply. Everyone nods and Theo becomes silent, suddenly nobody is talking to each other. I look down as I feel someone place their hand on my shoulder. It's Blaise. He whispers into my ear "hey, are you alright you seem kind of off tonight" I nod and smile back weakly "yeah I'm just tired". I mean I'm not lying, I'm exhausted. "Want me to walk you to your dorm" he responds quietly. "That would be great Blaise" I say as I look back up. It looks like our whispering has caused Malfoy to stare.

"Problem?" I ask him, not caring for much of a response.                                                                          "Not one" he says with an expressionless face.                                                                                                        "good" I reply while I grab Blaise's hand and get up. We start walking to my dorm and I sigh. It's now 12am when we get to my dorm. "Thank you for walking me back, Blaise" I turn to him and smile. He looks in my eyes and pushes hair behind my ear. "No problem get some rest tonight you looked tired today" he says as he gives my kiss on the cheek. That's pretty normal because we are so close that it doesn't mean much to either of us. I heard loud footsteps near me, and I realize someone was probably watching us, but who? I smile at Blaise and walk into my dorm then shutting the door. but I also lock it just in precaution.

We live in a dangerous world
or that's what my mind tells me at least.

Your most vulnerable when your alone
Something in me wants to turn back and pull Blaise into my dorm, but for some reason that doesn't feel right.

So, I change into my silk green pjs and lay in my bed. I try to fall asleep, but I just can't. I turn and toss around under my sheets, but I just can't relax. My mind is in a million different puzzle pieces that just won't come together. I turn onto my back and look at the ceiling. I just stare at it wishing I was not in my mind set. So, I won't be

What would Blaise be thinking...wait no, Malfoy. what would Malfoy be thinking right now. Probably something like: I hate this stupid school, maybe my father could transfer me somewhere else. Or something like it's been a boring day not having pansy down my throat

But if I knew what he was actually thinking right now, I would be ashamed of myself. We all have our problems, but some people are better at hiding them than others. I'm pretty decent at it, but I think Blaise sees right through the brick wall I put up in head. He's always been pretty observant that's why we are best friends.

Flashback

One day Blaise came up to me in class with a chocolate bar and said, "you look like you need this" I couldn't even answer before he placed it on my desk and sat a row behind me. I looked down to see a note attached to it. It read

Daliah,
Consider me a friend, a shoulder to cry on if you must. I'm at your service, my lady.
Your new friend,
Blaise

I laughed a little and looked back at him. "Thank you" I whispered just loud enough so only he could heard me. He smiled and nodded. I turned back around and put the note somewhere safe.

End of flashback

I still have the note he gave to me on that random Wednesday evening. Ever since then we have been best friends, almost like we were attached at the hip. This is a nice distraction for my mind but it's not enough, so I grab my wand and recite the spell "accio pills" and with a flick of my wand my pill stash appears in my lap, I grab the last packet with two blue pills in it. It's not like I know what they are all I know it that the Weasley twins don't sell you fake stuff. so, I quickly swallow the two pills and wait for them to take effect. I lay back and feel calm. my thoughts quiet down so now they aren't screaming at me, they aren't talking at all. It's so peaceful. 

2 am, I'm still up as my eyes become drowsier by the second. I turn on my side and slowly fall asleep.  

The Dream

I'm running fast I don't know what's chasing me, but I know that I'm a fighter and I will run until my legs give out, so that's what I did. I ran and ran until I quite literally couldn't anymore, I tripped on a tree branch and hit the ground. But it didn't hurt, that's weird. I crawl to put my back against the tree stump as I look at my clearly sprained ankle. It's catching up to me, but I can't move. Maybe I'm not a fighter because right now I feel like someone's prey. I'm helpless... I see it walking up to me accept it's in a black cloak. I can't see who or what it is but it's moving pretty quickly. As it gets an arm's reach from me it reaches out its hand and right before it touches me, I'm violently shaken awake.