Frenzied Spirits

Nothing Else Matters

"Ha! I guess we'll have to watch it someday, then?" Jake asked, sitting down across from him.

Frank felt his heart pounding in his chest.

He wanted so desperately to hug Jake again, to pull the other man into his lap and show him what he meant to him- but he knew he couldn't yet. He had so much to explain, first with himself, and then with what Joey had told him.

It just wasn't a good time for any of this, and Frank found himself wanting to scream in frustration that whatever fucking God was watching over him had decided to make him go through all of this just to get a possible chance of a sliver of happiness.

He took a breath.

"No, Jake, wait. I need to tell you something serious."

Jake stared at him with those dark brown eyes that he kept getting lost in.

"Shoot."

☺

Frank told Jake everything.

He told him about his relationship with Julie, and how he'd fucked everything up.

How he was the reason they got brought here in the first place- even though it wasn't completely his fault and a lot of it was manipulation from The Entity. The darkness that washed over him when he'd heard Julie's screams.

The darkness he now recognized wasn't actually a part of him, but something external that had twisted and warped his mind.

He'd intended to stop there, just to give Jake the surface level information that he needed about him- but to his surprise, he kept going.

He told Jake about his childhood- what he could remember, anyway. Bouncing between foster homes that didn't care about him, and how he'd never really let anyone in because of this. How he'd lie about why he wasn't home, so he didn't have to tell them his foster father was a drunk that never spent any time with him other than to pick him up from the foster home before that.

"I want to be better, Jake," He said, when he felt he couldn't talk any longer, "I'm so fucking tired of being this...This monster !"

And then?

Then he started to bawl.

"I!" He sobbed out, certain that Jake was absolutely sick of him at this point, "I just want to be someone that people want around. I don't want to be a burden people have to put up with. I just want to be loved !"

Frank couldn't even look at Jake at this point- absolutely mortified by what he'd admitted to. He hid his face in shame, biting into the flesh of his lip to hold back the tears that he'd already regretted allowing out.

He felt a hand on his own, though he still couldn't bring himself to look.

"We all have our demons," Jake said, in a voice so soft Frank could hardly believe who it was coming from, "I'll be there for you, if you want me to be."

Frank hadn't expected such a positive response- and Jake gently pressed a palm into his cheek, wiping away his tears with his thumb.

He held him so gingerly- it was hardly something he felt like he deserved, but it was happening all the same.

And in all the anger, the confusion. The aggression he had thought was a part of his soul- it all had begun to fade because someone was not only nice to him, but didn't allow him to be that person anymore.

Jake didn't like when Frank was angry- everyone had always expected him to be angry and aggressive. While Jake? He wanted to take his mind off of it- showing him how to feed birds, and ground himself in nature.