Shoot the Moon

Chapter Twenty-Six - Man in a Tub

Finally, she said, "Robert's got AIDS."

"No. Shit. When did you find out?"

She shrugged. "I sort of put things together over time. I asked him today and he told me."

"Is he really sick now?"

"No. He's doing great. He's taking the new drugs. He's seeing this holistic guy that people with AIDS go to. They say it helps."

"Sure, maybe it will."

"It's awful, but all I can think about is how it affects me. The company. I had it all planned out and now... I won't replace him easily if he gets sick. I'm awful."

"No."

"Yes I am."

"Okay."

She shrugged again, picked up a leaf of lettuce in her fingers and tore it into smaller and smaller pieces. The waiter delivered the cookies and ice cream. It seemed like a silly thing for a grown man to be eating. I let it melt.

"Did you finish the Woman Inside You book?" she asked.

"Well... No, actually. It got a little weird and I stopped reading it."

"Where was it weird?"

"That part where you grow breasts and shrink your penis."

"It's just an exercise. To help you open your mind. God, you act like something was really going to happen."

"I didn't think anything was going to happen. It just... seemed a little weird."

More destruction of lettuce. "So what are you reading instead?"

"The Sun also Rises."

Echo hooted and threw lettuce shreds into the air. "Hemingway! Of course!"

I defiantly scooped up a spoonful of soupy ice cream and crunched down on a cookie. I felt very mature. Any minute, they would ask if I wanted a bib and a booster seat. I put down my spoon and pushed the plate away. I took the shot of Glenlivet like a dose of medicine and sipped my cold coffee.

"I suppose it could seem a little weird," Echo admitted in a voice suddenly drained energy, "Actually, you can forget about having to come to a session with me. Sharon the shrink has gotten kind of strange herself."

I made an interested noise.

"I think she's into some kind of Earth Mother religion thing."

"Yeah? Human sacrifice? Stuff like that?"

"Earth Mothers, not black magic. It's starting to come out in therapy too. She's giving me all this advice about getting in touch with 'the cycle of life'. You know what she said? She said, 'the field is greater than the farmer.'"

"She said that, huh?"

"She said that. I don't want to think of myself as a furrow for the plow. I want a shrink, not a priestess. I can't go in for this crap. I'm a Presbyterian, for God's sake. I wanted a nice fun Jungian that I could discuss symbolism with. And The Shadow, and synchronicity, and stuff. And instead, I get all this Medieval crap."

"What's synchronicity?"

"It's when things occur that seem more than simple coincidence, but a part of a larger pattern, a plan. It's the feeling you get when "all occasions do inform against" you, as Hamlet says."

"Does he? Does he really?"

"Oh, dry up. It's very interesting if you're an artist."

Echo produced a pack of cigarettes, took one out of the pack and lit it from the candle on the table.