With neighbors like these, who needs enemies? (multifandom)

EATING DOG FOOD

Summary:
Bai Jintang has to attend a police business party with Bai Yutong and his smitten lover Dr Zhan, and as if the overwhelming sweetness wasn't bad enough, Gongsun gets drunk and vomits all over Bai Jintang's shirt in front of the guests.

Also, in the other major night event, Boya is jealous of how much attention Yum Yum gets but Qiming fixes that. He's great like that...

Gongsun was also cordially invited, holding the record for diagnosing the most confusing cadavers, and as much as he wanted to refuse, it would be detrimental to his reputation in the PD. At least he had the chief of police as his plus one, who should be far more interesting to talk to than a grumpy and harassed looking coroner with an iron stomach, and an escape plan. If anybody engaged him in conversation for too long, Gongsun was going to suddenly need to walk Maki, because Yao Di was going as Bai Yutong's prolific fiancé. The Shiba pup did need checking on, however, if anything was needed to keep Maki happy it would be changing her water or throwing a new chew toy in the bedroom, so he might have been exaggerating slightly when he said walk. Not that he was going to need an excuse, his drinking would sort that out.

Bai Jintang was ready for a party as always, and tagging along with Gongsun was a great way to get the rumours of his Doctor boyfriend to Ma, because his sly old fox of a mother had eyes and ears everywhere as long as her children were concerned, which wasn't usually to anybody's advantage. He had his best police chief dress uniform pressed and hanging on the bedroom door, like Yutong had probably done by now if he wasn't still helping Zhan Yao pick one of his expensive suits to wear, because rules said that members of the police had to wear their ceremony uniforms for faculty events no matter what, and his plus one next door. To convince everybody that he and Gongsun were actually in love, and not just neighbors who had occasional frenzied sex for the sake of tormenting the other residents and mutual pleasure, they were going to be going to the party together, hold hands a bit and all that stuff his brother and sticky fiancé did without the disgusting love. Love was overrated, even if his whole family remained convinced that his life would change dramatically when he fell in love, but for now, he was just in love with Gongsun's beautiful and long dick, which was the best part of the grumpy old man.

Zhan Yao and Bai Yutong decided to drive to the party in the policeman's flashy sports car, being the pretentious fucks they were, leaving Jintang to drive Gongsun in his very average silver sedan that was bound to be less noticeable than a Ferrari turning into the car park. "Your brother really appreciates the good things in life, he was still having sex with Yao Di this morning when I got up to shower and gets too drive to Walmart in a sports car. Oh I would love to be a town celebrity who can go buy his on sale chicken thighs in a million dollar car, I think I'd start by building a proper place to keep my plants to be honest.", Gongsun remarked dreamily. Great, even grumpy Gongsun was a fan of the YuYao CP, and this was the man he had chosen to form a pretend relationship to rival his Didi and brother in law!

Apart from being compared to his Didi, several things were bothering Bai Jintang. First of all, the coroner's idea of business party dress was an all black ensemble of at least two layers, just like he had dressed for the garden party, secondly, he was bone tired from listening and being kept up by his enviable brother having enthusiastic sex in the next apartment, and thirdly, his favourite dress shoes hadn't fit perfectly, meantime he had to wear the second best pair. They pinched his toes and weren't as comfortable, which may have seemed like a small problem for anyone who wasn't Jintang. "Well, once I can convince Ma that I'm in a relationship with you, Baba should buy me a sports car to go to Walmart in like he did for Yutong's relationship development present. Also, don't talk about them having sex, it's haunted me since the first day they became official just how lovey those idiots are. I can have quality sex, with the same person or not.", he snapped.