The Darkwood Wand

Night Eleven-Plans

"Padma's looking over here ..."

"Think up a story," Draco said.

"To explain why you're kissing my fingers?"

"Brightest Witch on the Page, right?"

"Let go of me, you—"

"Hermione?" The Head Girl was at their table, staring at their entwined fingers. "Is everything alright?"

"Fine, thanks, Padma." Granger was still trying to free her hand.

The Ravenclaw looked unconvinced. "Malfoy here seems to be—"

"Finger-shrinking solution," Granger said. "Malfoy's measuring the effects."

Draco raised his eyebrows. With what, my lips? Granger twisted her hand, undoubtedly trying to stab him with her now-long nails, but he held it fast.

The Head Girl frowned. "I see no practical application for—"

"You'll find it in 'Potions Most Odde,'" Granger said. "Volume three. Ah, works on toes, too."

"We'll be measuring those next," Draco said.

Padma eyed them both doubtfully, then headed off to the Potions section. Ravenclaws checked up on everything.

Draco released Granger and she jumped to her feet, tucking her hands under her jumper. "I can't believe you—"

"Sit down," Draco said calmly. "I have news." He cast a Muffiliato with the harlequin he still held. Or at least, he tried to cast a Muffiliato. Immediately the library's low-volume rustles and whispers vanished.

Granger paused, then took her seat with an indescribable expression.

"What is it?" Draco blinked in surprise when he couldn't hear his own voice.

Granger appeared incapable of speech, her face tomato-red.

"What?" Draco demanded. "What happened to me? Why can't I hear any—"

The witch's head fell into her arms and her bushy head shook wildly.

"What the—" Draco slapped his hands over his ears, pulling an object off his head and throwing it on the table. He could now hear Granger's muffled laughter.

On the table was a pair of earmuffs: fluffy and bright purple. Fucking harlequin.

"You think you're funny, don't you?" he snapped at the wand.

Granger looked up at him, her face still red. "Ear ... muffs!" she squeaked. A passing student turned and stared.

"Be quiet!" Draco snapped.

She gulped. "If you don't like it loud, just wear ... wear ..." She buried her head in her arms again.

"Granger." Draco's voice was all Malfoy ice. "Would you care to share what is so amusing?"

Her bushy head shook. "I really wouldn't," said her muffled voice.

"Very well," Draco said, still cold. "Then I would like to share my news, if this is acceptable."

Granger raised her head and nodded.

"Tennant left for Durmstrang this afternoon," he said.

All the flushed amusement left Granger's face and her eyes widened. "For good?"

"No. Three-day DADA seminar."

She tilted her head in thought. "Why? Professor Lemond is doing a perfectly adequate job, although surprisingly dependent on theory for an Auror."