Only if: A LOSING GAME (Slow updates)

//Chapter 5//

"Inke saath aisa kya hua hai jo ye itne rukhde hue hai? Inhone toh hamara rishta shuru hone se pehle hi khatm kar diya. Mai maa ko kya jawaab doongi?" Bondita asked slowly. Her eyes brimming.

"Tum bhi toh is rishte se na-khush thi? Abhi toh bola na unke saath khaungi aur na hi izzat doongi." Aradhya asked.

Seeing the tears in Bondita's eyes, she was slightly surprised. This was unexpected. Seeing how upset she was with her husband a few minutes ago, such a stance was surprisingly new yet welcoming. Maybe this relation still had a little hope.

"Vo toh mera gussa bol rha tha baudi. Shaadi ke baad naye ghar me ayi thi mai, sirf is sahare ke saath ki pati saath dega mera. Kamre me ghanto akeli baithi rhi inke intezaar me. Subah uthi toh kisi aur aadmi ka chehra dekha, ye soch ke bohot khayal daude the mann me. Kya ek patni hone ke naate kuch ummeedein thi meri apne pati ko leke toh vo galat baat hai? Aur rahi khane ki baat? Pati ke saath nhi khaungi toh aur kiske saath khaungi? Inke pasand ke saari cheezein seekh ke aayi hu ki inko khila saku. Par mera toh rishta hi khatm ho gya. Aapne suna na kya kaha inhone abhi. Tamasha! Tamasha ho rha hai ye? Ye shaadi, ye pooja, ye tamasha hai inke liye? Arre meri zindagi inhone ek pal me tamasha bana di baudi." Bondita replied breaking down on the floor.

"Aur izzat?" Aradhya asked again.

"Huh?" Bondita questioned.

"Tumne sab jawaab diya, par is baat ka nahi. Abhi kaha tha izzat nhi di jayegi. Toh us baat ka kya matlab?" Aradhya questioned.

"Izzat kamane se milti hai baudi. Aur jaisi harkat aapke devar kar rhe hai na, aise me toh izzat kya mai inka chehra dekh ke baat tak na karu." Bondita said harshly.

Aradhya eyed the woman in front of her. She was an epitome of love but full of pride and rage. If she was going to love without any questions, inhibitions and demands then she wanted a respectful life too. If she was as soft as a mother's touch then she was as violent as a goddess's wrath. If she was like a fresh drew drop then she was a swift hailstorm too. And she for sure was the last hope in Aniruddha self disastrous field.

"Agar mai tumhe ye kahu ki Ani babu ki zindagi me bohot kuch hua hai aur is vajah se vo aise kathor dil ban gye hai toh? Kya tum is rishte to mauka dogi? Kya dono ke hisse ka bhaar utha paogi? Jab tak tumhare pati ko sahi galat ki samajh na ho jaye, tab tak unka saath dogi?" Aradhya asked cautiously. She knew the type of questions she has raised and she was expecting a perfect set of answers. She didn't want Bondita to be a doormat but she didn't want her to be a tough nut too.

Listening the questions thrown her way, Bondita got up. Swiping her tears off, squaring her shoulders, she looked directly in the eyes of her baudi. Without any fear and only sureity.

"Insaan ke ateet ka aap kuch nhi kar sakte. Par vo ateet agar mere aaj ko barbaad karega toh use jaanne ka pura hak hai mujhe. Maana unke jeevan ke kathin paristhitiyo ne unhe aisa banaya hai par mai unki pao ki chappal nhi ki jaise mann aaya vaise phek diya.

Is rishte ko mauka dene ke pura mann bana ke ayi thi mai par agar aapko dusri or se saath hi na mile to kabtak ek pahiye pe gaadi chalegi? Andhere me teer chalana sirf aur sirf bewakoofi kehlayi jaati hai. Aur is andhere me kisko kaha chot lag jaye, kisi ko nhi pata. Mai is rishte ke bajaye unko mauka dene ko tayyar hu. Agar vo mujhe jaan kar samajh kar, is rishte ko mauka dene ke baare me 1% bhi sochenge na toh mai 99% khushi khushi dungi.

Aur sahi galat ki samajh har insaan ko hoti hai. Aankhon pe padi dhool ko mitane ki der hai. Ek kutta bhi aapka peecha karna thode der baad chhod deta hai kyuki use samajh aa jata hai ki yaha usko khana nhi milega, isliye vo kahi aur khana dhoondne chala jata hai. Mai toh fir bhi insaan hu. Ek samay tak hi ruk sakti hu. Paani ka bojh badhne ke baad toh baan (dam) bhi dam tod deta hai." She said.