Same Time Next Year

Chapter 16 - Year 4

Elle's expression turned playful. "Seriously? Now you have to tell me."

I busied myself with the green pepper I was supposed to be chopping and tried not to meet Elle's gaze. "It's embarrassing, you'll make fun of me."

Elle laughed, "Oh my gosh, Noah, what are you in junior high?"  She turned around, reaching again for the strainer she was trying to get out of the high cupboard.  I walked up behind her and easily reached what her hands could barely touch.  Elle glanced up at me as I held it out to her and we both paused for a second, realizing how close we were.  All Elle would have had to do was turn around and she would be in my arms and I let my mind imagine what that would feel like after all this time.  I felt every place our bodies were touching like an electric shock to my body, her hip against my thigh, her shoulder to my chest, the brush of our fingers as she took the strainer from me.  Elle cleared her throat, making me almost jump away from her. 

I made myself walk around the island back to the cutting board I was supposed to be using.  I don't understand how she can still have this pull over me. I ran my knife through the pepper in front of me several times, just so I knew my voice would be under control before I finally answered Elle.  "Yoga.  I started doing yoga."  I paused, looking up for a second to see Elle's reaction, waiting for her teasing, but she was smiling and nodding as she checked on the chicken she had added to the pan on the stove.  I continued, "Chloe got tired of hearing my grumpiness on our calls so on one of her visits she forced me to go to a yoga class with her.  I realized that it worked even better for me than running."

Elle laughed, "So you're all zen now?" 

"I don't know about that but Chloe seems to think my moods have improved, so there's that." That's the closest we got to both talking about our feelings of the last year and a half since our fight. Mentioning that we both needed a new outlet to get us out of the funk we were in which had most likely been caused by the other.

"It probably doesn't hurt that it's a room full of women bending over in yoga pants, right?"  I knew Elle was joking but I really didn't want to talk about other women with her.  Elle has teased about my high school reputation in the past and I didn't want her to ever think that's what I've gone back to in the time we've been apart.

"Yeah, um, after that first class, I actually started watching videos online.  I didn't really feel like being the only guy in a class full of women.  Chloe had to practically shield me on the way out after that first class."

"I'm sure she did."

We were quiet for a few minutes.  I had finished all Elle asked me to do and she was combining it with the other ingredients she already had cooking.  The smells from Elle's creation were starting to fill the kitchen and I could feel my mouth start to water.  She covered the pan and said it needed to simmer for a bit before we'd be able to eat.  I poured us each a glass of wine and I took a seat at the island while Elle stood at the stove across from me. 

Something about being in the kitchen with Elle made a memory pop into my head from when we were kids.  "Remember that time that your Mom was trying to teach you to make her favorite cookie recipe?"

"Are you kidding?  Like I could forget that!  You and Lee kept coming in to steal dough while it was supposed to be chilling in the fridge.  When the timer finally went off and Mom went to get the dough out of the fridge, there was hardly enough left to make any cookies."

"I can still remember how delicious that cookie dough tasted."

"Mom was so mad at you two she grounded you.  I remember how excited I was because I thought that meant you would be grounded at my house and would be around all the time." 

"I wish we could have."

"You had started to act a lot older than us and had starting to hang out with me and Lee less and less, so I was hoping for more time with you around, and of course Lee.  I had such a crush on you then."  I raised my eyebrows at that, I did not know that part of the story. "I was so upset when you ended up having to go home."

"I was upset too, Mom was so mad at us when we got home." I paused before asking, "You really had a crush on me way back then?"

"Noah Flynn, I've been in love with you for so much longer than you even realize."  Elle said it like she was joking but her eyes seemed much more serious.  I wanted to say something about the fact that she said in love, like it wasn't a feeling from the past, but she beat me to it.  "I mean I was in love with you for so long, obviously." 

Trying to lighten the mood, I added, "Knowing you, you probably would have burnt all the cookies anyway."

Elle was starting to dish out the chicken and vegetables with the sauce she had made on to our plates when she paused and glared. "Just for that, I'm not sure I should let you eat any of this."

"I totally take it back then.  This smells delicious, Elle, I can't wait to eat."

We walked outside with our plates and wine glasses to the table on the deck.  The weather was perfect and I took a moment to stare out on the ocean before sitting.  We definitely didn't have these views in Boston.  As we ate, we caught each other up on our lives over the past year plus that we had been out of touch.  There was a lot we already knew just because our families insisted on keeping us up-to-date on each other's lives.  It didn't take me long to practically inhale everything on my plate, I was shocked by how good Elle's dish tasted.  Elle, who used to burn toast, had become quite the cook.  It made me wonder how many other things had changed about her that I didn't know and made me want to figure it out.

Elle

Surprisingly enough, I feel like Noah and I will be able to keep things between us platonic this year.  There had been couple moments here or there while Noah was helping me cook and we got a little too close.  I mean, I guess with our history, we'll always have a little chemistry together.  But, otherwise, simply platonic.  I've missed being able to spend time with Noah.  Like that memory he brought up of me cooking with my Mom, I love that he remembers her also.  It feels nice to be able to talk about her with him.  I think we may actually be able to pull this off. I've realized what my goal of this weekend is – to become friends with Noah and nothing more.  Spend a whole weekend together without hooking up.  All this time, I've been trying to figure out how to keep us in a relationship, which we obviously can't figure out, because I didn't want to completely lose him from my life.  So, now my goal is to learn how to be friends, so we can stay that way.  I'm not sure what Noah's plan was for this weekend but the way he's acting, I feel like we're on the same page.

The longer we sit out here together, the more I can feel the awkwardness between us fall away.  It may help that the wine bottle Noah opened earlier is looking pretty empty.  We were starting to sound a little more like ourselves as we joked around and the familiar banter falls back into place.   Once we were done eating, we were quiet for a minute, both enjoying the view, a sight we took for granted in the past when we spent all of our summers watching it.

I let myself think back to the last time we'd seen each other, at my Dad and Linda's wedding.  From the minute June mentioned that their whole family would be coming to the wedding, the thought of seeing him made me nervous.  Luckily at the time, I was so busy getting ready for the wedding that I didn't have much time to think about it.  But then I saw him at the ceremony, sitting with his family, while I was standing in front of everyone watching Linda walk up the aisle.  I pushed thoughts of him out of my mind, focusing on the wedding ceremony. As soon as the reception started though, it seemed like I found him in my vision every time I looked up.

As long as I was thinking about it, I decided it was time to discuss it. "Thanks for your apology at the wedding.  I think we really needed to have that talk."

"I'm glad I did. I should have reached out again a lot sooner than that. Is that what made you show up this weekend?"

"I mean, it didn't hurt, but I probably would have come anyway. I hate that we didn't see each other for basically a whole year."

"I hated it too and I'm glad that we're both here now. I've missed you."  Noah shot me his smile that showed his dimples, my smile, and I tried to ignore the butterflies I started to feel in my stomach.  Strictly platonic, I reminded myself.