Same Time Next Year

Chapter 4

Noah's arms were so tight around me when I woke up Saturday morning that I didn't think I would be able to get out of his grasp, not that I wanted to.  Even in his sleep he was holding on to me as if he was scared I was going to disappear on him.  I couldn't blame him, I knew how he felt. I kept thinking I was going to wake up and this whole thing would be a dream.  I know it's not a dream but I realize it isn't exactly reality.  I'm not sure what's going to happen when this weekend is over.  Yes, Noah is still in LA for the rest of the summer.  But what happens when summer is over?  I stop myself from working through the scenarios. Instead, letting my fingers trace Noah's pecs before moving to his abs, trying to see how close my fingers can get to the waistband of his boxers before he wakes up.

Other than getting up for coffee and breakfast, we hardly moved from Noah's room, spending the morning in bed talking.  Catching each other up on the lives it had been too painful to hear about before this. Ignoring anything hard to talk about, only the good stuff. The first several months of our breakup were noticeably absent from either of our stories.  Finally, I couldn't put off getting ready for my lunch shift any longer.  It would only be a few hours, I only hoped it wouldn't be long enough to pop this bubble we had made for ourselves.

I wanted to skip out on work, but Noah convinced me I shouldn't change my schedule on his account.  He had planned on doing some work for his internship a bit this weekend anyway, he was trying to make a good impression this summer.  He planned to knock that out while I was gone, then we would have the rest of the weekend to ourselves.  When I get to the restaurant, it feels odd to be around people while my head is still at the beach house with Noah.  It seems strange to be back doing my normal day to day activities when everything else about this weekend has been so surreal.  I was more thrilled than I wanted to be when Noah texted me several times during my shift wondering how much longer before I would be back.

Noah closed his laptop as soon as I walked in the door after work and once I walked close enough for him to reach, he pulled me down next to him on the couch.  We hadn't made any plans for the rest of the weekend and for sure not beyond yet.  Instead, we were talking about our classes and cuddling, unable to keep our hands off each other.

I had just finished telling Noah a story about a mess Lee and I had gotten into during my first visit to Berkeley when he smiled at me and said, "I'm really glad you ended up at USC and are doing so well.  It makes me feel a little better about what happened between us."  I visibly prickled at his comment. I immediately tried to cover it with a smile but Noah still picked up on it.  "What?  Did I say something wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it." I leaned in for a kiss, trying to distract Noah from asking anything more. A drawback of him knowing me so well, it was almost impossible to hide anything from him.

Noah gave into the kiss for a second before pulling away and moving back enough to where I couldn't reach him with my lips. "Please tell me."

Frustrated, I sat up, moving a little farther away so we were no longer touching.  "Can we just talk about something else?  Are you going to have a good football team this year? Oh, wait, tell me about that big game you won in overtime. Our Dads talked about that almost the whole lunch that next day. Your Mom kept trying to change the subject and distract me from listening. But I could still tell how proud they all were of you."

Noah's tone was serious as he ignored my change of subject, probing, "Elle.  Something I said obviously upset you. I don't want you to be upset. Will you please tell me what it is?"  As Noah spoke, he pulled me back towards him, so I was leaning against him with my back against his chest.  This had been a perfect afternoon, the last thing I wanted to do was explain to Noah what had bothered me.  I almost made something up, but I had grown up a little since we were together last year. I knew that lying and half-truths were not what was needed here.  If I wanted a better relationship with Noah, I needed to tell him the truth.  I knew whatever kind of relationship that would come out of this stolen weekend, and I was definitely not letting myself think about that yet, but whatever it was, I would need to do a better job of being honest and talking about what was going on with me, even if it meant hurting Noah.  Even though he had initiated it, I knew our break-up had not been entirely Noah's fault.  Over the last year I couldn't help but think what may have turned out differently if I would have communicated with Noah and Lee about getting into both colleges from the beginning and told them my worries about my relationships with both of them.