poems about life and love ~Can you play that part?

when you reached out

It hits me
when I look
at my phone
you just kicked me
(of my throne
of apathy
where I wanna be)
It just gives me
a glimmer of
reassurance
that he did
care.
That he does
still think about me
sometimes.
There's nothing more I'd wish.
Cause I think about you
everyday.
Wanting
so hard
for those feelings
to fly away
Trying
not to care,
which is
so hard
cause you make it
look like
you still care.
And I'm aware
that you just want to
ease your mind
but maybe your shell
isn't as hard as it seems
It's hard to tell
if you ever felt
something for me
if you ever cared
I think you did
in some way
even though
it's easier
to believe
you don't.
but why do I see
your name
on my phone
I stopped
that game
What is it
that makes you
think
about us
drives you to
reach out
when you know
I could never
reach you
in the way
I wanted to
I don't want
your pitty
just because you
might feel
some guilt
Are you
just curious
Please don't
make ist harder
cause thinking
there is a chance
even the slightest
I ever meant
something to you
tears me apart
I have no clue
I can't respond
can't tell you how I feel
cause that would
make it feel
so real
pretending
your dead
makes it easier
and I don't wanna
sound any cheesier
when I say
that I know
your not longing for
what we had
when your text
floats over me
like a threat
cause I wonder
if this little thunder
was and will be
something special
just between
you and me
that made us
drown
made us think
I do hope
you might change
just because
you meet me
and I do know
that meeting you
was the most
wonderful
and
painful
feeling
I ever felt
I think this
happened
for a reason
I'll grow
even though
I don't know
if meeting you
was a spell
or blessing
I think
at the end
we are
just to people
that were supposed
to meet
but not to last
even though
you'll ever be
my past