Punching Lucky

Prologue: Punching Lucky

Prologue: Punching Lucky

Elliot and I are the closest of cousins. We have been attached to the hip ever since we were born at the same day. Yes...we have the same birthday, people. How cool is that?

So, since he's just this awesome type of a guy and this week is my shark week, he decided to treat me out for Ben & Jerry's. See? So considerate. But deep inside I bet he just wants to get on my good side.

Tsk. Smart Boy.

Every time I get my monthly visit from the bloody Niagara Falls, I turn into a crave monster. And if I don't satisfy my cravings, I turn into this sappy-sentimental girl. But I don't finish there. No sir. After that, all hell breaks loose. And then I turn into a raging Biyatch. With a capital B.

So yeah Elliot now knows what to do. Trust me he learned from experience.

Moving on. Elliot and I were happily walking down the street when we met the douchebag of the century together with some of his friends. Wallace Humphrey.

Apparently these guys don't have a life (*cough* not that I have one but still...you're in with me on this one *cough*) and they bother just about everyone for no apparent reason.

See what I mean? Such douches.

God even his name sounds like a douche.

We silently ignored them and continued our way down the street when...

"Homo."

"Gay."

"Fag."

I see red. No one talks shit about my bestfriend except ME.

So with all the strength that I have, I lay a mean punch onto the douchebag's face.

The only problem was that he moved faster and grabbed a human shield to cover his face. Yup you heard me, not just any shield. A freaking human shield.

Thud.

The poor innocent guy fell on the floor.

Damnit.

"Wallace let's go!" the douche's crony said. But before Wallace could even run, I sprinted like a ninja and kicked him in the face from behind just like karate kid.

I looked at him with pure hatred and seethed, "He isn't gay, you dimwit. I'm pretty sure he's straighter than the pole your mother dances on."

With that, my bestfriend, Elliot, hugged - no scratch that - squeezed the living daylights out of me.

"I love you. You know that right."

"Pshhh...I know. Everyone does.'' I smiled up at him.

"Urgghh"

Oh yeah...the guy that I accidentally punched. I forgot about him lol.

OH MY GOD THE GUY THAT I FREAKING PUNCHED!

Great.

Just Great.

I removed Elliot's arms from around me to shout at Wallace for using a freaking human shield but then when I turned around, I noticed that he and his cronies already ran away.

That coward.

I averted my attention back to the guy lying on the floor.

Well fuck.

"Hey are you alright?" I asked the poor innocent guy.

"Urgghh"

"So is that a no?"