Let's Start At The Very Beginning

Chapter 9

"Did you ever like anyone, Maria?" Brigitta asked and joined them at the table, the game long forgotten.

"I liked my husband obviously." Maria chuckled as she looked at her kids. Louisa followed and began to watch her little sisters play with Jane and Michael.

"But anyone before that maybe?" Brigitta pried.

"Stop being so nosy," Friedrich snapped at his sister.

"Don't act like you don't care," Louisa added from the couch.

Maria watched them bicker until they realized she wouldn't answer until they stopped. "I did like a boy once, a long time ago when I was practically a child. But he never had feelings for me." Maria remembered.

"Did he know?" Kurt asked

"No." Maria shook her head "I just knew, he never saw me that way, not to mention the girlfriends helped solidify the idea."

"Were you heartbroken?"

"Oh, that's the understatement of the year." Maria said, "I was devastated." she threw her head back faux dramatically. She couldn't believe she was being this open with children. So often she was reserved about personal matters.

Georg and Maria remained friends throughout his first year of Uni, but that summer, Hedwig was disappointed. Instead of spending time at home, he had gone with Max to France for the holidays.

"Well, that will be good, he's always wanted to travel?" Maria was sitting on the veranda with Hedwig one afternoon the first week of summer

"No, Maria, Max has been nothing but kind to Georg, but I fear Georg is losing himself. He's become reckless, but you know that." Hedwig sighed

Of course, Maria knew that, almost better than anyone. "He'll be back for school; you saw him more than you anticipated this spring."

"Oh, I know, but a mother worries. One day you will understand my dear." Hedwig reached across and squeezed the girl's hand and the pair exchanged small smiles.

A knock was heard at the door. "Oh, I suppose that's Abigail, I promised we'd go for tea. You know to stay as long as you like dear." Hedwig stood up and pushed her chair in and kissed Maria's head.

"Yes, thank you." Maria offered and Hedwig walked inside. Maria sat in her thoughts.

That whole summer she missed Georg terribly. She would go over to the villa once a week for dinner, since school wasn't such a burden, hoping he was home, but he never was. There were rumors going around town that he was bumping into other families during their summer trips, and they would come back and talk about how Georg seemed happier than ever.

Was he happier because he was away from everyone? He had Max and the ocean and that was it? Maria didn't know. She wrote to him but would get sparse replies. She tried to confide in Oma, who was getting weaker by the day. Maria feared what would happen if she died before she finished high school. Where would she go?

She missed seeing him, even though they had reconnected, they still didn't see each other every day for the rest of the school year. But yet she would come over and they would play the piano and talk and walk and play chess and swim. But she could tell it wasn't the same. He still hadn't introduced the ever-elusive friend, who Maria knew was a girl and had it narrowed down to three.

It was like he kept their friendship in a little box all on his own, which while it sounds nice, and in many ways, it was, nothing could seep in. No talks of the future, no mentioning of crushes or love, no fears shared, just surface level memories they treasured. But Maria craved something more, she had seen glimpses of something more, something good. But she just didn't know what it was.