My fears

Scopophobia

Little note from the author: Scopophobia is the fear of crying in fount of people (I know it is a stupid fear but I have it). This will take place in 1st person.

I was walking to school as usually do. My parents do not have the best relationship these past 2 years, that relationship effects my brain processing of emotions. I meet up for the morning with my friends. I usually sit at the table we always sit at and wait for them to come over. Today they wanted to say in their sets on the opposite side of the room. I sit at a huge table by myself. It is quite sad to be honest. Most people do not like me for who I am so they stay away from me. All of my 4 main friends did not talk to me for the whole entreaty of the morning. I felt really sad about that but I did not show my emotions at all. I have a habit of looking at the ground and pulling my hands up it my chest and making my wrests floppy. When I was going to homeroom I had my habits come to me. Than one of my dearest friends comes up to me and says, "What are you doing with your hands, you look like a dog. A weird one." as they said that I automatically put my hands down and look further down to the ground. 

I was heart broken, when I got to go to first period I started to feel water on my face. I realized that I was crying and I quickly walked to the bathroom. I started to cry. I hate crying because I feel weak. Of course one of my friends come in and I start freaking out. Them come over to me and ask if I am okay. "J-just don't l-look at me" I say covering my face to them. After that for the whole entire day I was stressing about how they saw me crying and how ugly I must have looked. Than we came to lunch, I did not know that this would be the worse part of my day. 

All of my 4 friends and me sit at a table and talk to each other. The one friend that found me crying started to talk about stuff. You know the one friend that can never keep a secret. Well that friend was the one that saw me crying. So out of no where they just say "Hey, you know I found *inserts my name* in the bathroom crying." I froze out of horror and embarrassment. 

Than out of embarrassment and betrayal I stand up and go to the teachers to ask if I can go to the bathroom. I walk faster than usual because I felt like I was going to cry really badly. When I get to the bathroom I silently cry small tears. I stayed there most of lunch, but after a while we had to go to our next class. I go to my locker and take my binders out. I go to my class and none of my friends were in it so it was fine. After that we all went home. I did not talk to any of my friends for a long time because I needed time. After a while I was about to come up to them and I over heard them talking to each other and this is what I heard. "I never thought that *inserts my name* would be crying at school." "Yeah! I wonder why, must have been a stupid reason." I came up to the door and all of them saw me. "Hey *inserts my name*!" I say with an angry face. "So now your nice." Before they saw me I say "Why were you just talking about me behind my back. I thought that 'real friends' were kind." "I guess not." one of them said and made a face at me. "Don't think about seeing or talking to me again." I walk out of the room, I was more sad than angry. I didn't care anymore. After that I never talked to any of them and changed schools. I never cry in front of any of my friends anymore. 

( Sadly the story is now over, this was based on a true story of my expertise. They were not very good friends. Good-bye everyone!! )

( Word count-745 Words )