I feel like my life has been a snow globe, always shaken when the flurries settle. Or like those buckets at water parks that routinely spill over.
I've gotten used to things feeling out of my control.
my desires have been skimmed over one too many times to trust that I have any say in the end.
I've adopted acceptance of being ignored,
of shutting in because all the outs need to be sorted first. Constantly waiting for the moment
for that moment to change,
then waiting again for another.
I feel like I'm being pulled.
Being lead somewhere I can't understand.
Repeatedly being told no
when I didn't even get to explore,
been able to see if that's what I wanted anyway.
I don't feel understood,
since I don't understand myself,
therefore, I don't understand others.
Crying for a constants has me cursing fate. when I've been told that I choose my own
I've become avoidant because
I don't know how long things will last, or if I'll be the one that screws it up,
and I rather not be the one hurt in the end.
I flow instead of build.
my dreams are more fantasies than visions,
at least the big ones where I'm the center.
It's more sensible to believe that I'm a partner. It's almost as if I was meant to follow,
to repeatedly sacrifice,
to absorb every blow but keep giving.
Maybe I'd rather live that way than be alone. My plan was to give into life and let it lead, then I was told I was the creator of it.
Shaken once more,
when things were finally starting to settle. Spilled again,
when my cup was nearly full.
crying for constants has me feeling the same
- Snow globe
KAMU SEDANG MEMBACA
CYNICAL
Cerita Pendeka short story of a cynical hopeless romantic <3 quick snippets of the stages of a relationship are shown and poetry is added in between to set moods. Hope you enjoy :)
