HAPPIER THAN EVER

Chapter 1

lee chan & the boys
20/02/25: 19:46

cheol~
group meeting in thirty, downstairs dorm.  don’t be late!

boo
didn’t we just have a group meeting tho hyung? 
like two days ago?

jihoonie
come on hyung, i’m finally working on some decent music again.  can’t we do this later?

shua♥
obviously seungcheol has something important to say so let’s quit complaining and go!

cheol~
thank you joshua.  someone gets it.

seok
i’ll be there hyung!

channie
me too hyung!

Jeonghan locks his phone with a soft laugh, shaking his head, and then he sits up in bed.  Sore muscles protest loudly, and he groans at the stretch. They’ve been home from Manila for just over two weeks but with the rest of their tour dates cancelled for who knows how long, they started throwing themselves into comeback prep.  September seems a long time ago and the fans are itching for something new. So is Jeonghan, if he’s being honest. Touring is exhausting fun - emphasis on the exhausting for this past leg - but something in him similarly loves getting ready for a comeback.  Listening to the new music being produced, learning the new choreo, spending hours getting his hair dyed and treated, inadvertently staying up all night before the actual comeback because he’s just so excited.

He can’t wait.  Even if his muscles hate it.

A knock on his door pulls him from his reverie and with a soft sigh, born more out of pain than annoyance, he slips from his bed.  On the other side of the door stands a pensive, pallid face, shoulders drawn taut, sweater sleeves fisted in his hands. Seungcheol runs one said sweater paw through his freshly cut hair, biting his lip as their gazes meet.  Butterflies flutter through Jeonghan’s stomach and he puts on a smile.

“Are we having the meeting up here now?” he asks.

Seungcheol shakes his head and then sighs.  Again a sweater paw pushes through his hair and then it falls back to his side where it tugs at a loose thread in the thigh of his jeans.  He’s fidgety. Anxious.

The desire to protect, to fix all of Seungcheol’s problems, to find the source of his anxiety and root it out so it never bothers him again flares up like it always does when Jeonghan sees these little signs.  It hurts his heart and he gently ushers Seungcheol into his room, closing the door. “What’s wrong, Cheollie?”

He doesn’t answer for a few moments, just stares at the floor, breathing in and out slowly, deeply.  The way Dr. Kim taught him. Glancing up his warm eyes scan the room slowly and Jeonghan wonders if he’s trying that grounding technique he told Jeonghan about.  The fact that he would even have to use that right now worries Jeonghan but he stays quiet, giving Seungcheol the space he knows he need to open up by himself.

And when he does open up, his voice is small.  “You’d support me no matter what, right Hannie?”

“Always.”

This single word seems to alleviate some of his anxiety and he meets Jeonghan’s gaze, shoulders relaxing enough that it stops looking painful.  “There’s something I want to tell you,” he says. “I told Joshua already because I figured he’s probably one of the most open-minded of us all, being American and all that.  Plus he’s also my friend and I don’t want to tell everyone all at once because that might kill me and I would really like having people there who already know so they can support me and - “