The Edge of Tomorrow

4

"I can't forget."

Chapter Theme Song: 'Elephant' by Freya Ridings.

••

Becca

I broke from the surface of the water, gasping for air as my cold fingers clutched the edges of the tub. I sighed and stared up at the ceiling.

I got dressed in my plain pink PJs with white stripes along the short sleeves and went down to the living room. The house was dark and quiet. My dad, surprisingly, had given into Mom's moping that night. "Come to bed, Ben! Your eyelids are gonna fall off!" He'd still be working at that hour, but it made me feel gross to think of the reason they'd probably signed off early.

Apparently, I was the only one cringing at the thought of pleasing my man.

Ew. Why did I say that?

I climbed off the couch and moved to the cabinet attached to the Tv stand. I dug through piles of smelly, old seventeen magazines, not sure what I was looking for in particular. Perhaps a specific serial which pointed to oral sex and how it was done? I didn't like it, but I'm sure Tee didn't like it before she did it to Winston that last Thursday in the Janitor's closet.

She told me at P. E. "Becca, you should see it, it was long and thick!" And after that, I couldn't eat the free hotdogs the Environmental club was giving out that day.

I scrounged around the dog-eared collection until I somehow met upon an old-time-days cassette, lying out-of-place and dusty among the thin paperback heap. My eyes almost bulged from their sockets when I saw what was imprinted on it. Naked men and women, the title being...XXXX. What was xxxx? It wasn't creative at all.

My hands sweated, and I hadn't felt this way since I'd stolen candies way past bedtime as a kid. My room didn't have a television set—it was broken a few months back and my parents hadn't gotten around to fixing it yet. Mom had been too busy with her home book club, and Dad? He was too obsessed with his job to care about me and Netflix.

It was stupid. Slipping the Cassete into the video player and turning the volume all the way down. My parents' room was upstairs, and their steps would usually make a loud squeaking sound against the floorboards. So I was safe. I'd listen out for them and shut it off.

Biting my nails as though I was waiting for a jury's sentence, I watched as the blue screen lit up the once unlit living room. My eyes followed the bright, impure motions, and the film went straight into action. A girl was bent between a guy's leg, her mouth—

The stairs creaked and I gasped, grabbing the remote from next to me and shutting the Tv off. The room plunged into a thick semi-darkness where the placid moonlight streamed easily through the cream curtains hung by the kitchen windows.

Afraid to look behind, to see who had caught me red-handed, I shut my eyes and took in a deep breath. Then I did it. I did it so fast I'd almost snapped my own neck. I stiffened when I saw Mason, quiet-boy, standing on the second to last stair. He had magic feet because they made absolutely no sound on his way down. His glasses and white T-shirt shone in the dark, and I could only imagine the blank, almost annoyed look that he had on.

Then he continued strolling down the stairs without a word, and I snapped my head in front of me again and started spilling my guts, like an idiot. "I-I wasn't watching that or..."

The fridge squealed as it opened behind me, a stream of yellow light filtering through the living room. Lighting up my PJs, my bare feet, my horrified face. It was a lucky thing I wasn't facing his direction.