On the Road to Serenity (sequel to Take Me to Church)

Chapter 5

Except for his sobs, Liam was quiet for a few seconds. "I don't want you to die, but if you want to kill yourself, why don't you do it? What's keeping you from doing it, Nicky?"

I didn't know how to respond to that because I'd been asking myself that question for years.

"Because I think there's a little bit of hope in you," he continued. "You want out, but you don't know how to get out. I can help you."

"You can't help me, Liam," I said, placing my hand on his bare knee. He wasn't nearly as bony as the last time I saw him. "You need to focus on yourself."

"Don't tell me what I need and don't need," he said, turning to me. "Suboxone works, you know. I'm still taking it, but at least I'm not shooting up every day. It's really helped with the cravings. Maybe it could help you, too."

"Suboxone?" I scoffed, thinking about the heroin in my bag, wondering when I'd get the chance to shoot up with Liam sticking around. "You're just exchanging one addiction for another."

"It's a maintenance medication and it's legal. I have a doctor and a counselor, and I've been able to go back to school. I think I want to be a lawyer. What do you think?"

"You wanna be like Mommy and Daddy, huh?"

Liam's body tensed as his gaze shifted to his fingers on his lap. "Forget it. Never mind. You're obviously not ready."

"Sorry. You'd make a great lawyer," I said, reaching for his hand. 

"Can I at least stay the night?"

"Yeah, sure... if you don't mind sharing the bed with me and another girl... if she comes back. I don't know her schedule."

"She could sleep on the chair," Liam said. 

"You would never have suggested that four years ago," I laughed. "You would have made us sleep on the floor so she could have the bed."

"To be honest, I don't care where she sleeps as long as I'm here with you." He brought my hand to his lips. "I fucking want you, Nicky. Don't turn me away." 

How could I resist him? 

I couldn't.

My body reacted to his touch. 

"Lie down," he said. "Go on."

With some apprehension, I lay on my back. I knew that look in his eyes. He was hungry for anything. This was what I was afraid would happen, and I was such a pussy I let it happen. I was such a hedonistic, selfish asshole that I undid my towel and welcomed Liam's lips on my cock. His blow jobs sure beat the ones on the street.  

Liam and I just wanted to be loved. Liam knew how to love me, with or without heroin.

Within seconds, we were all over each other, devouring each other in hungry kisses. I missed kissing, and Liam was a great kisser, among other things. He barely waited for me to put on a condom, but I wouldn't fuck him without one. I was responsible about some things. Liam smiled against my lips as I entered him. He moaned louder and louder the harder I thrust. His head bounced against the headboard.

"Harder," he whispered. 

I complied with his request. He cried out in a combination of pain and ecstasy. 

"Yeah... yeah... that's good," he said, clawing my back. If he had long nails, he would have left scratch marks. 

He pushed me on my back and rode me like I'd never been ridden before. Okay, maybe I was exaggerating, but it had been a long time since I enjoyed sex and I enjoyed myself immensely with Liam. Even after we climaxed, we continued to hug each other. Liam rested his head on my shoulder as I ran my hands up and down his back.