Portal Adventures

23. Baby Steps

Ben stared off into space.

"I don't wanna lash out again." Said Ben.

Jack got back in the car and closed the door.

"What if I lash out on you and we break up or something? What if I lash out on the therapist, and I have to get a new one?" Asked Ben.

"Hey," Said Jack, putting his hand on Ben's real leg. "We both know you're not that person. We both also know that if it does happen, it's not intentional. You and I won't break up, and you'll have the same therapist."

"Okay, but is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Joked Ben.

Ben and Jack chuckled.

"Come on, we don't want you to be late." Said Jack.

"Oh, alright. If I have to." Joked Ben.

Ben went in with Jack, and checked in. They waited in the waiting room until Ben's name was called.

When Ben walked in the room, most of it was pretty empty. There was a row of chairs, and parallel bars set up on one side, similar to how Jack set it up for him at home.

"Alright, Ben. You ready?" Asked the therapist.

Ben nodded, then looked at Jack with a little worry in his face. Jack slightly nodded in reassurance, and Ben turned to go to the parallel bars.

About half an hour in, the therapist could tell that Ben was getting frustrated.

"Why don't we take a 10 minute break, okay?" Suggested the therapist. "We'll try again after."

Ben nodded, then went to go sit on one of the chairs beside Jack.

"You okay?" Asked Jack.

"Not really." Replied Ben. "How do you get so patient with me?"

Jack softly chuckled.

"It's something that takes time to learn." Replied Jack.

"It's just, I feel like I'm going too slow. Like if I don't go faster, I won't go where I need to be."

"Can I tell you something that might help you?" Asked Jack.

"Yeah."

"The slowest one wins the race." Said Jack.

Ben softly chuckled.

"I'll try to remember that." Said Ben.

The last of the session went better than the first part. Ben tried his best to be patient and remember what Jack had told him earlier. It seemed to help Ben. After the session, Ben needed a rest from the prosthetic, so Jack carried him to the car.

"I can walk, ya know." Said Ben, as he got carried by Jack.

"I know. But how many opportunities do you get to be carried by me?" Replied Jack, then stopped for a moment. "Too soon?"

"It's okay." Replied Ben.

Ben got help getting in the car, then Jack closed his door and walked around to the driver side.

"So, what now?" Asked Jack.

"Home bound?" Suggested Ben.

"No going out to lunch today?" Asked Jack.

Ben shook his head.

"Alright, home bound it is." Said Jack.

Ben told Jack a lot of things, but one thing he hasn't told him is that he's been afraid to go out in public. He's been okay going for a walk, or to his physio appointments, but anything else he didn't want to do.

Ben didn't know if Jack knew or not, but since the leg amputation, he's been scared for people to see him. With and without the prosthetic leg. Ben's been scared of all the looks and stares, and hasn't been wanting to go out in public.

At home, Ben and Jack walked into the house expecting it to be empty. When they walked in, Ben's dad was home.

"Hey, didn't expect to see you home. I thought you were on another trip." Said Ben.

"I'm leaving tonight. Won't be back for a couple weeks. There's trouble in the timeline, and the crew needs my help." Replied Ben's dad.

Later that evening, while Ben was folding laundry that hadn't been done yet, his dad left for his trip. After his dad had left, he thought it'd be a good time to talk to Jack.

"Hey, Jack?" Called Ben.

"Yeah?" Asked Jack from the other room.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Ben waited for a response, but there was none. A few seconds later, Jack appeared from the hallway.

"What's up?" Asked Jack, going to sit on the couch beside Ben.

"I haven't told you this, and maybe now is the right time." Said Ben. "Although, I don't really know when the right time is."

"Everything okay?"

Ben took a deep breath.

"The reason I didn't want to go out today...is because I'm scared to go out." Said Ben.

"Can I ask why?"

"I'm scared of people seeing me, with my leg." Admitted Ben. "The looks, the stares. I don't know how to do it."

"Seeing you today, when we went to your appointment. I couldn't be more prouder of you." Said Jack.

Ben softly chuckled.

"I mean it. You're amazing, Ben. And I'll help you every step of the way, so you will slowly get more comfortable." Added Jack.

Ben leaned in and kissed Jack.

"You're amazing too. I couldn't have done all this without you." Said Ben.

"If you ask me, I think your leg is pretty awesome." Said Jack.

"You think so?"

"How wouldn't wanna date someone with a robot leg?" Asked Jack.

Ben chuckled.

"Alright, I think it's dinner time." Said Ben, grabbing his crutches and getting off the couch.

"Yeah, I think so. What are we having?"

"Wanna get take out? I don't feel like making dinner." Suggested Ben.

"I'll order pizza."

Ben went back to sit on the couch while Jack went on his phone to order pizza.

"Hey, Jack?" Asked Ben.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?" Asked Ben.

"Of course. What's up?"

"When I start to go out in public places, could we go to fictional worlds first?" Asked Ben.

"If it will make you comfortable, I'm all for it."

"I know it sounds silly and all, I just thought it'd be easier when no one knows who I am." Said Ben.

"I don't think it's silly. It's a great way to start." Said Jack. "Let me know when you're ready, and we can go together."

Ben took a deep breath.

Maybe it'll be sooner than I want it to be, but Jack will be by my side the whole way. I just gotta trust the process.