Retrospective ~TW~

Chapter 9

"Because it was cold." I return and look at him with rosy cheeks and a wink. "And I also just had a fight with some asshole in the Mercedes' garage and wanted to leave dramatically."

"Yes he definitely was an asshole that day." He chuckles and rolls his head back, looking at the ceiling as the angelic sounds reverberated through him. "He is still sorry about that incident."

"I have accepted his apology, and his apologetic messages, and apology flowers and chocolates." I remark, hoping to ease his tension. I stand up and put the jacket on, waving him a goodbye so he can get back to his work.

I walked out and spent the rest of the afternoon playing with Jack and talking with Angela whenever she wasn't needed by Lewis. Soon the race was starting and we were sat off to the side in the viewing gallery to watch the action.

Toto looked unbelievably attractive sitting and watching the race. His Bose headphones were resting perfectly on his head and I couldn't help but admire his nonchalant attitude. Toto had always been an internalised stressor for as long as I could remember. He hardly ever had obvious moments of nervousness or anger, and when he did, it was so brief it was as though if you blinked, you missed it.

Lewis was called into pit, and when he did, it felt like he had been there forever. Pit stops were normally fast and with an experienced team like Mercedes, it was rare to see them make a mistake like this. You could see, and feel, Toto's obvious frustration at the slow pit stop and with his crew. Lewis came out behind Max.

The race continued and Lewis was driving well right up until the 31st lap, where he slid into the gravel on turn 7. He was quickly dropping down the ranks and by the time he rejoined the track, was in 7th place, which ultimately was better than a DNF, but he was certainly going to have to drive his pants off to win this one.

Toto was externally calm throughout, no emotion coming onto his face. His professionalism throughout these high stress situations was something that I could only admire. He never yelled or took his anger or frustration out on anyone, and it was inspiring.

Not long after, and as if in slow motion, George Russell and Valtteri Bottas were involved in a high speed collision. I gasped, knowing they were travelling at over 300km/h. I had seen crashes before, but something about being there and knowing these drivers punched the air right out of my lungs.

A red flag was called due to the debris over the track, but I was happy to see that they both got out of their cars and were well enough to have a rift. The race resumed, with Lewis in 9th place and with some serious overtaking, he was given the chequered flag.

Lewis ended up finishing second, behind Max but had picked up the fastest lap point which allowed him to keep his lead in the drivers championship. After such a drama-filled race, I was exhausted and ready to go back to the hotel.

I knew Toto would be coming back later as he had to give his post race interviews. Jack and I made our way to the designated area to watch the presentations. I boosted him high up on my shoulders, him waving at Lewis as he got his second place trophy. Lewis feebly waved back, his young fan and buddy proud of him.

Once the presentations were finished, I packed up Jack and his belongings and after a fleeting congratulations to Lewis from Jack and I, we raced back to the driver who was awaiting us outside and jumped in to speed back to the hotel. Jack and I ordered room service. I knew he would be hungry and tired and we wouldn't be far out of bed.

I gave Jack a quick bath, him taking the opportunity to cover me in bubbles before we changed him into his pyjamas. Once he was ready, I put him into his bed and read him a story, soft snores erupting from him before I even made it to the end of the second page. I smiled and took the chance to grab my own sleepwear and have a shower.

While I was in there, I heard the door to the room click open, signalling Toto had arrived. I shut the shower off and swiftly dried myself before placing on my oversized satin pyjama set. It clung to my slightly damp skin, highlighting the soft curves of my body. I looked around and realised I had forgotten my toothbrush.

I knew I would have to go out to Toto in my pyjamas at some point, but I thought I would have more of an opportunity for my skin to dry and the satin to release from my skin. I slowly unlocked the door, braving to go out there. Once I peeked out, I saw he was sitting at the desk, his head in his hands.

"I forgot my toothbrush." I announce as to not scare him as I approached. My arms were crossed over my chest in a defensive manner, trying to hide the little part of me that wasn't on display. He gave me a quick once over as he slightly adjusted in his chair. I opened my case and grabbed my toothbrush out.

"I need to brush mine as well." He stands and follows me back into the bathroom. I open my tube of toothpaste and spread it along the bristles. Toto holds his out and I do the same for him. It was such a small gesture but it felt so intimate. I quickly begin brushing my teeth, and after we both spit out he remnants of the fluid, he looks at me.

He moves closer and I don't dare move. He grabs my arms, looking over me as if he was drinking in the view. I look at his chest, it was clear he had undone buttons on his Mercedes shirt, as if he had began to take it off and then stopped.

"Amelia." His forehead rested against mine as our breaths mixed between us. The coolness of the wall pushed into my back steadying me. The vulnerability in his voice was soothing. He was as nervous as I was, the undeniable attraction between us fizzling over.

"Toto." I whispered back, trying to portray the approval he needed. He found it and didn't hesitate to push his lips against mine. It was soft and as vulnerable as his words. It felt foreign and yet so natural, and I knew immediately that I was going to remember this moment forever. I couldn't move, my arms stuck around his neck as my hands weaved into his hair. The minute our lips parted, I felt lost.

"Fucking hell." He mumbled almost to himself. I exhaled deeply, looking at him as his eyes were screwed shut. "I should say we shouldn't do that." The words took my breath away but as he opened his eyes, I knew he wasn't finished, "but that felt way too fucking good to stop." He kissed me again, the feebleness gone and replaced with desire.

I pulled back and smiled, relieved that he felt the same thing in the kiss that I did. He pulled me in tightly and rested his chin atop my head. "Tough day hey?" I wrap my arms around his waist and he chuckles, his chest vibrating against my cheek.

"Tough to say the least." His voice is comical and I grin against him. I wish to never leave this position, he had slightly twisted us so his shoulder rested against the wall. "Also, I kiss you and all you can say is 'tough day'." The joking continues and I am the one that laughs this time.

I wish I could offer him advice but being so close to him was causing a fog to land over me. "I am lost for words Toto. But I will say that I don't think I will forget that any time soon."