TCF: Music in the making

The Religion of Loneliness - Syudou

Mentions of Suicidal ideation

Note: Ambiguous timeline/ there is no timeline as I've decided to fuck cannon. pretend everyone is still at war, assume relationships are slightly altered and give up as I pick and choose what information characters know. Thanks.

Sorry for the lazy chapter !!

Correct me for grammar mistakes and inconsistencies, soft criticism is welcomed ^^

Scroll to the end for more chapter notes.
-----------------------------

Cale sighed, it's been a long day, or maybe month would be a better word for it. There's been so much to do since the war with whitestar and he's barely been able to catch a break, everyone's been busy as well and it feels like everyone has almost,,,, pulled away from him.

He knows it's selfish.

To wish that his family- the people around him would spend more time with him, to wish that he could stop working and risk hundreds of casualties all for the sake of having more spare time to spend with those close to him.

It's wrong.

Gloomily, he leans back on the bench he's on, letting himself bask in the moonlight's glow. After being cramped up in an office doing paperwork (for once) for hours on end not and being able to move his muscles, he's glad to go outside and stretch his body.

it's funny honestly, he finally has an hour or two of free time and yet no one to spend it with.

He lets out a dry chuckle at that thought.

Moving forward a bit, he rolls his neck, hearing the cracks Cale feeling a satisfying pleasure rush up his spine leaving pleasant tingles in its wake, next he moves onto circling his shoulders trying to loosen the tension coiled in the area.

Feeling somewhat better, Cale slumps against the smooth wooden bench once more. He's barely taken 20 minutes as a break yet he can already feel the fatigue catching up to him.

The chill breeze that blows by him reminds Cale that he isn't able to slack just yet.

(He hopes that day comes soon, he's so tired)

Shaking his head he pulls his raven coat that was hanging loosely past his shoulders up once more, why had he been so irresponsible as to wear a sleeveless, billowy white ruffle top? The tight fitting black pants he wore were also no help to combat the cold, he feels goosebumps raise across his pale skin.

Sighing once more, Cale decides to push his work away for a moment, he won't be able to nap during this short break due to anxiety but at least he'll be able to rest his mind. Thinking back he realized he had no true way to relieve the stresses in his life, other may talk, cook, write and so forth but Cale never really found anything to cope with all that's happened to him.

He never had the time, his only real way of dealing with stress was sleeping long hours but even then he couldn't do so when anxious. His mind kept him awake and he often woke up an hour or more earlier than his alarm, unable to fall back into a fitful rest.

"Maybe it would be better if I just died?"

He's chewed over that thought in his mind quite a few times already, what's wrong with indulging it once more?

He doesn't really have that big of an impact on those around him, the only ones he's worried for if he were to be gone are his children, then again Eurhaben-nim has treated them fondly untill now.

Plus, eternal rest was a very enticing offer, what need was there in working hard and struggling due to the hardships of life when you were stuck in an eternal sleep? Cale always felt better after resting anyhow, what matter was it if he didn't wake up?