Deceitful Heart

Prologue

Working overseas as a nurse was the good decision I ever made but as six years went by, I am not sure if I really made the best decision.

I am Alexandria Kristine Marquez, 29 years old nurse on duty, serving patients with tender loving care. Kung makulit yung patiente, pwede naman nating palitan ng gauge 16 yung needle na itutusok. Kidding aside, mabait naman ako kahit sa mga masusungit. Mabait ako pero palaisipan parin bakit wala akong jowa. Mga temporary kalandian lang dumaan sa buhay ko. Ayaw ata talaga ni Lord. Baka gusto niya mag-isa ako sa buhay huhuhu.

Twenty-three years old ako nung naisipan kong makipagsapalaran sa United Kingdom. Mahirap man na iwan yung parents at mga kapatid ko pero kailangan talaga. Walang future sa Pilipinas ang isang hamak na nurse. Toxic environment na nga, hindi pa fully compensated. Pero maganda rin naman mag-experience muna sa Pilipinas kasi masasanay talaga tayo sa hardwork.

I discovered new and different systems while working in a different country, which I will instinctively compare to the ones I am familiar with. This knowledge broadened my horizons, allowing me to select the greatest features of both platforms while also improving my skills.

Although personal development and growth would be developed, life outside Pilipinas is difficult journey. It took me a lot of courage and mental preparedness. When I move to United Kingdom, one of the first difficulty I encountered is the language barrier. Mahirap mag english with accent pa.

Hindi ko naman gusto na i-discourage ang aking mga colleague pero; I wish I had been warned about the potential problems before moving to the UK, so I could have been more prepared and had realistic expectations.

Grabe talaga ang Nursing. Hindi ito regular na trabaho at saka yung napag-aralan namin sa  textbook ay kalahati lang sa  expected performance namin. Nursing requires a lot of interpersonal skills, which I developed along the way. I've worked with people from different cultures and backgrounds, and each of them taught me how to accept diversity, which is a skill I'm proud to have learned.

As a nurse, I prioritize my patients' needs above all else. I occasionally encountered patients who had prejudices and preconceptions. I was discouraged at times, but I still maintained high level of professionalism. I make every effort to provide the best care possible, regardless of their attitude. Most of the time, I meet a lot of good hearted people who are grateful for my efforts and willing to share their incredible life stories with me (I heard so many over the years).

Sa kasalukuyan, madami man akong experience at mabuti naman yung benefits at compensation dito sa UK pero feeling ko may kulang.

'Ang boring ng life, parang gusto ko na magka-baby' Ako si Tine isang Emergency Room nurse sa isang Tertiary Hospital sa United Kingdom.

'Baby? Wala ka ngang jowa eh, baby pa kaya hahahaha. Ayy girl pwede naman maki one night stand ka. Pabuntis ka hahaha' saad ng kaibigan kong minsan supportive pero madalas kontrabida sa buhay ko, si Phoebe.

'Grabe ka naman, 29 pa naman ako eh, baka meron pa magkamaling mahulog sakin, maganda naman ako at sexy pa. Hindi na nila need mag-isip pa' sinabi ko with full confidence.

'Girl, maganda ka nga pero masyadong mahinhin at conservative. Very motherly, baka isipin nila ikaw yung sugar mommy, hahahaha' sabad naman ni Phoebe.

'Alam mo girl, minsan talaga hindi ko alam bat kita kinaibigan. Ang sama mo sakin' sinabi ko kay Phoebe with matching punas luha effects.

'Ang drama naman girl, basta live a little, lumabas ka, makipaglandian ka ulit. Wag tulog tulog ginagawa mo, baka malipasan ng oras' sabi ni Phoebe. 'Bilhan nalang kita ng milktea, burger at fries. Friends na ulit tayo ha, mwah!'