Black Out

one

Tuesday, 10/06/1984- Nora's P.O.V
     Waking up has always been hard for me. it just means I survived another night of my alcoholic dad. But there's always an upturn to waking up. I get to go to school. And at school, I see him. He truly is the only reason I have lived to this day.

     I sat up in my crappy 10 year old mattress that sat on the ground, it has years of blood stains and cigarette ash on it, and stretched. I ran my hand along the new bruises on my legs and arms that appeared over night. At least I was smart and shaved yesterday, before anything happened. A cold breeze passes through my cramped room, for my window was open. I've always liked winter better than anything else. The view of the snow falling on the ground was something I've always found beautiful. Even when I was younger I enjoyed opening my window to watch the snow fall. Even when mom was still here.

     She was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Her ocean blue eyes had an almond shape. With soft eyelashes made her look kind. She was a woman you can always count on. She had a small nose, with a stud pierced into the side of it. Even her lips were pretty. They were pink and plump. I remember them being the softest thing I've felt on my cheeks in a while. People often often say that I look like her. I think that's the reason why dad hates me. Because I remind him of what he did. Of what he lost.

     I only had mom in my life for a couple years, just barely reaching my life that I can remember. Only thing I would change is that she would still be here. If she was here maybe I wouldn't be on the floor. Maybe dad would be happy. Maybe I wouldn't have bruises all along my body. Maybe we'd live in an actual house. Maybe. But I can't change anything. Not anymore.

     I heard a couple glass bottles falling over outside my door, popping me out of my trance. I looked over beside my bed where my handed-down digital clock was. Technology nowadays is really advanced. I mean we've figured out how to get numbers to show up on a screen, wow. 7:18 AM. Was I really spaced out for almost 20 minutes? Either way I need to get up.

     As I stood up, my door, scratched by glass bottles over the years and a color of an off-white almost cream from the ash of all the cigarettes, opened up with my dad stumbling in, clearly having a big hangover, not long after. "Oh good. Bitch is up." He paused to sniff the air, "The fuck? Take a goddamn shower." And walked away, leaving my door wide open. I lifted up my arms to sniff my armpits, and they smelled fine. He was the one who stunk. He always blamed things on me, I think I've just gotten used to it.

     Since I wasted time this morning I didn't have time to shower, so I got out some black leggings, they're what I usually wear anyways, white leg warmers, and put on my favorite sweater. It's pretty simple, but I find it cute. And I look cute in it. It has a gray base, with red stripes and yellow decorations on the stripes. I have a body mirror, although it's dusty from the sunlight peaking in all the time, so I looked in there once I had my outfit on. I'm pretty thin, so I have a thigh gap. Apparently most girls wish they had one? It's not all that great. My thighs are always cold. You never get used to the feeling of a cold breeze going in-between your thighs. Even in the summer sometimes. I've always liked sweaters because they make you look a tad bit bigger. Plus they covered the bruises and cuts on my arms. If anyone could gain some weight, it's me. 116 Lb just isn't enough fat for a 16 year old who's 5'5.

     Another reason why I love this sweater is because it has hand pockets, so I have somewhere to put my hands at school. I turned around a bit to look at my clock, 7:24 AM. School doesn't start until 8:45 AM but I still had to do my hair and bike there too. Probably doesn't help that I live a good 15 minutes away. And that's while biking. I quickly went to my desk, which was squeezed into the corner of my room right next to the footboard on my bedframe, and grabbed my hair brush to get started.