Open Heart Choices: Falling Into Dust

Part 1: The Aftermath

Summary: Following the funeral, Cassie goes on a road trip with her brother to escape Boston and the guilt she holds.

The bird was back, its blue plumage bright against the fall sky outside her bedroom window.

Cassie Valentine watched her inconstant neighbor from her perch on the armchair propped against the windowsill. Dressed for warmth in a thick coat, boots, dark jeans and black turtleneck, she was still as the clock ticked in the distance.

It was early, just shy of seven a.m. Her brother, Max, wasn't coming to pick her up until ten. If she had been who she was before, the extra hours in bed would have been welcome and savored.

The person she had become in the aftermath spent sleepless nights, tossing and turning until she thought the covers would suffocate her.

She was afraid to close her eyes. Afraid that she'd wake to find herself back in the hospital room with its plastic walls, astringent antiseptic smells, and perpetual sense of dread.

She would see her friends at the window, their eyes trying to hide the fact that she was doomed. Ethan, her mentor, her lover, her inevitable, would put up a brave front but he had never had a good poker face.

"I'm a doctor, not an actor," he'd told her once with a wince.

As far as Cassie was concerned, that room was cursed. Two innocent people would never live to see dawn. All because of her.

When her phone pinged, she glanced down at the message that appeared on the lock screen before pressing the button to wipe it clear. She squeezed her eyes closed to hold in the tears she wasn't ready to shed.

Enough, she thought. Enough!

A couple of hours later she said goodbye to her roommate, Sienna, who was grieving too and taking a few days to visit her family.

Then she checked to make sure she had everything she needed. She always kept clothes and toiletries at her grandparent's estate in Newport, but those sufficed for a quick weekend.

This time around, she wasn't sure when she was coming back. If she was coming back.

The knock on her door shook her out of her reverie before she walked, face carefully schooled, to answer. She dropped her mask as soon as she saw her twin brother, Max, on the other side. She never had to put on a facade with him.

Good, bad or ugly, there was no one else in this world she could be herself with completely than with her brother. It wasn't just that they were twins, although that was a huge factor, it's that they were best friends, partners in crime; it was always them against the world.

He squeezed her hand in comfort, no words needed to be said. He looked over her shoulder at the luggage stacked in front of the bed.

"It's a good thing I rented an SUV and not the roadster," he grinned. "You never did learn the fine art of packing light."

When she just shook her head and started for the door, he asked, "Not saying goodbye to Sienna?"

"She left for the airport already," said Cassie, reading the new message on her phone before tucking it away in her purse.

"Here," said Max, handing her the keys. "Go settle in the car. It's the black Cayenne out front. I'll bring your stuff down."

By the time they left Boston city limits, she and Max had fallen back on old habits.

"No jazz or blues!" she protested, swiping the screen on the dash to find another channel on satellite radio. There were literally hundreds of options to choose from.