Devil Darlings on Steamboats

[ ❤️ ] More to a Mouse

《 Mickey's PoV 》

It is no longer a surprise for toons to recognize me in the public. It's been maybe thirty, or close to forty, years since I had required the leading role in the stageplay of Steamboat Willie. Maybe even way longer.
Though it was so long ago, and my career had been growing into "celebrity territory," toons from all over the city knew my name! Soon, a couple of states. Soon, the whole nation. Eventually, toons from all over the globe were in favor for the little eighteen-year-old mouse boy; living off only a few bucks in the black and white world of the late nineteen-twenties. It all really felt like a dream, but I like to think dreams can affect reality.

The eighteenth of November is treated like my birthday. For a very, very long time I would have many donate flowers and money, even some of the wealthy at the time wanted to invite me to parties due to my popularity status. Though I wanted to make it clear that I did what I loved because it made me feel alive, but for what the times were, I was really only doing it so my older sister, whose now named Felicity, and I were able to have a stable living. We were just a couple of orphans, living in a run down apartment, which would be a motel room nowadays.
I wanted to make sure that my sister wasn't the only one supplying, then to a certain point where she could retire and I can worry about the money problem. She had done so much for me that I didn't want her to become my mother rather than my sister.

Felicity and I had ran away from our old home in, maybe not necessarily the country side, but a secluded area where there were mostly fields and a large house that had only one or two trees standing over it.

We had.. not such a great childhood from what I have "relearned" in therapy.
I had repressed so many memories from my younger years, and I guess I never realized how much they would impact me later in life.

Really all that needs to be said was our father, pretty much was considered a burden on his side of the family, was not a nice man. He had been my grandfather's favorite and had his name signed in the will, rather than my oldest uncle. Nor any other, or even any of my aunts. Just my father alone. He was an arrogant, selfish man who did not care for his children and his wife. I want to believe he is the only toon that I despise in life because I don't like saying I hate others. Though my father was an exception.
Our mother was nothing like him. Despite being put into an arranged marriage, she was the sweetest mouse I think I have ever met in my life. She'd light up a room and everyone I knew would smile at her presence. I remember she would help hand-make the pretty dresses me and Felicity would wear as young girls. I would like to think if my mother saw the mouse I had become, maybe she would make me a nice suit instead! She would be happy to know she actually has two sons.

Oh golly, I forgot to mention him..

From what I remember, me and Felicity had an older brother. I was only three, turning four when he was sent off to fight in the war. For the record, this wasn't my half brother Oswald, which there is a whole other story for him later.
No, this brother was only related to me and Felicity. I believe his name was something like Markus? Markus but with a C? I sadly do not remember. Neither does my sister. I just know that my sister has his ashes in a vase in her house. From what our mother told us, he died immediately to a bullet to the chest at the age of nineteen.
I didn't know what that meant, especially since I was so young since he had passed, but I could understand her distraught and anger. That was her first kid; a pure boy who was only taken away and had been left to die without his family there to say their goodbyes. He really shouldn't of died in the first place, but that was just how the world was during the time.

I do wish I had gotten to know him more..
at least I wouldn't feel so ashamed to not even remember my brother's name.

Maybe this has taken a darker turn than I thought it would. I know I shouldn't feel ashamed for sharing my feelings, but seeing my mother and sister being in pain so often, I ended up having a point where I did not want others to see mine. Nobody wants to be around someone who is sad all the time. I rather bring joy and see smiles grow across the faces of many. Brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, grandparents to uncles and aunts, gosh just seeing the spark in someone's eyes is all I ever want to see. I find a sort of magic in that, knowing I can make so many smile and forget the reality of how cruel this world could be.

I think I get lost in my own reality alot. I remember the first time Bendy saw me cry. It was a normal night, and he had asked me something like.. "Why do you always smile? Not trying to be rude, especially since I tend too alot myself, but I never seen you sad before."
I was so confused, after I had explained to him to why I didn't like being sad, when he grabbed and held me in a tight hug. It felt odd, having someone comfort me, but for whatever reason.. that confusion I had lead to a sinking feeling to hearing that same demon using a soft voice and me, crying and staining his grey clothing. Apparently, from what I was told by him, I had cried so much I had tired myself out. Bendy had to awkwardly find a way to put me to bed without waking me up, which may of been one of the few reasons I fell for him back in the late forties.

Speaking of that devil darling, I think I hear him coming home. It isn't hard to tell between him and the footsteps of somebody else. He wears tap shoes, and he likes to make a short dance at the doorway as, I guess, an indication for me to know he's back from the store or wherever else he came home from.
My ears are not a lie, no.
They may be big, and possibly goofy-looking (not my friend, Goofy, just the metaphor,) but they are very helpful, 'ya know!

I'll stop writing for now, especially since I feel bad for just suddenly spilling my life story. Though I don't expect anyone to read this. This is just my own personal train of thoughts.

Okay that may also be a lie. Bendy tends to get nosey and he doesn't even have one! Or maybe he does........
I wouldn't want to know.

Anywho, good day, journal! Sorry for ruining the mood. Hopefully, the sun will shine bright for the coming of days.

--(♡) 𝑀𝒾𝒸𝓀𝑒𝓎 𝒯. 𝑀𝑜𝓊𝓈𝑒