VDKPTN

Episode 3: His Memories

There were people who looked at me worried, but there was no one who appeared to reach out.

Spending every day alone, I felt my heart turn cold. I felt betrayed. The most painful of all was my father not coming to see me and not stopping elder brother.

He should know the situation of the royal palace. Even if his firstborn daughter was just born, does he have to abandon me?

After thinking that far, I came to a certain conclusion.

Father doesn't love me.

The moment I realized it, I was so shocked that my vision turned pitch black.

Then, what did I see? For what reason did I work hard?

I......was never loved.

In the end, I was a child of a concubine. Even being a prince, I was no match to the queen's child. Be praised, and feel high. After all, father only pitied me who had no mother. There was no affection.

A low-ranking, son of a noble. A lowly concubine's prince.

Father, why won't you help me?

Why did you praise me for doing well?

Why did you meet me? Why did you caress my head? Why won't you love me?

I wept alone in my dimly lit room. I was stubborn and shut myself inside for a week. It might be just my misunderstanding. Father will surely come to kick the door open.

Yes, I hoped.

However, the door was never kicked open.

Again, I cried alone.

In an instant, my belief was shattered, and I heard something inside me break.

A few years have passed since then, and my heart had completely cooled and hardened.

It doesn't matter anymore. I'm bored.

My well-developed brain absorbs and stores knowledge like a sponge. In that case, I tried to work out, but I did too well just by imitating it. What a colorless and boring life. As far as being a 10 years old, I was abnormal for being dead.

Can someone change me? I'm tired of even expecting someone to love me.

The only person I opened my heart to was the son of a nobleman my brother drove away that is my close aid, Schwartz.

"Hey, I'm thinking of becoming an adventurer. What do you think?"

I pointed at the adventure book I recently read and asked Schwartz.

"Please don't rush."

"It's not like I'm in a hurry to die. I'm just wondering what it feels like to defeat a powerful monster. See, maybe even I would get excited."

"Haa(sigh)... You royalties are the only ones who could use magic. It would be a problem if monsters were just around."

"What? You don't have a dream?"

When I giggled, Schwartz dropped his shoulders as if he was fed up.

I have to look expressionless when I talk to other people. That's what Schwartz would often tell me. A smile is a weapon and can be used in politics and dealings. Something like, I shouldn't let others read my feelings. Being told that by Schwartz who had the least expression made me laugh, that made him glare at me.

Even like this, a scrap of the royal family, Schwartz still forced me to do it. Maybe I felt that I needed it as someone who would look outside with dead eyes.

Having obtained a thick cat fur, I spent my day wearing my pasted smile. A bland response, a humble stance that won't be like a tengu, and an attitude that gives respect to others. Showing it will open people's hearts for the first time. I would laugh and hide as I fabricated it like I was opening my heart. That was the only antics I could do.

(Note: Tengu in Japanese folklore, is a type of mischievous supernatural being, sometimes considered the reincarnated spirit of one who was proud and arrogant in life.[Source: britannia.com])

"Why don't you try falling in love?"

"Love?"

I almost laughed at Schwartz, who spoke with a serious face.

"What's fun about love? Were you the type to make such a boring joke?"

"I have heard that people who fell in love change."

"Women are the kind to make eyes, so they can get close, right? I don't want to go out of trouble to meet those people who use disgusting perfume."

"I understand, however, Dylan-sama, how about a formal marriage interview?"

"....So that's your objective."

I glanced Schwartz a sharp look but he didn't look surprised and only shrugged.

"It's his majesty's direct order. Saying that it's about time you choose your fiancée."

"...The king's..."

"Although, it's a little late. The marriage interview meeting invitation has seemed to been sent to every noble family. I'm just informing you."

Fiancée.

The one who will become my future wife and the person who will support her husband.

Will someone appear to support me? It was a straightforward doubt.

I will laugh, deceive, and never show my true feelings. I will deeply bury my heart so that no one will be able to touch it, and if it's about to be reached, I will show my fangs like a wolf. Stay away from me. Don't touch me. Leave me alone.

That way, I won't ever get hurt again.

I won't have to feel pain.

I should have thought like that, but I found myself expecting a little from the fiancée candidates I was about to meet from now. That maybe she can change me. I really cannot be saved from becoming twisted because of my contradictory emotions.

There can't be a woman who will accept me, who is like this. That would come to me and be my fiancée. I know the most that this world was not made to be so well.

I laughed at myself and shut my eyes.

I felt like I heard someone scream for help.

(This is getting me more emotional than I thought. And it's not even the saddest backstory I have ever read. I hate being too emotional sometimes. Sorry for doubting you in the last chapter, Dylan! You deserve all the love. On the other hand, the road to yandere is all set. We'll only have to wait for him walk through it while looking at our MC. 🤭 Thank you for reading!)