Spoken Word Poetry

Shower (TW: Sh implied)

I expected blood to be pouring from my arms by now

I expected to not be able to shower because of the stinging sensation of the water hitting the newfound scars

Or the seran wrap to be loosening itself from its position above the red lines

But that's not the case

I'm in the shower

Heat from the burning water radiating from my body

And it doesn't hurt

At least not in that way

Yea, the water hits my body, almost like an attack

Each stream from the showerhead slowly makes my skin red

I pace

Back and forth again and again

Thinking

About life

About my friends and my problems

Solutions obviously not coming to mind

I stand

Letting my mind go blank

For once, just letting myself be

In here, I'm not a problem solver or a therapist

It was 11:44 when I stepped in

Probably somewhere near 11:55 now

I know I should step out soon

But I don't want to
So I stand

Letting the water continue its violent attack on my body

I sigh and eventually continue the routine

Moving around so the steaming water can take the remaining body wash away
Down the drain it goes
I turn and run my fingers through my hair, slowly taking out the conditioner
Another sigh escapes as I turn the shower off

I step out and dry myself before stepping into some pajamas

And leaving the burning solitude of the shower