Every song on my iPod tells a different part of my life

Save Your Goodbye by Mike Posner

For three years, I had always been there for you. Thought, I was enough for you. But I guess, I was lacking in some department. 

Sometimes, I'd like to say 'No' to your tears but this stupid heart of mine made the decisions instead. Trust me when I say, this wasn't my intention. It wasn't my intention at all to fall for you. It was frustrating to know the emotions had built up without the mind consenting it. 

Now, cursing my head and heart for letting it happened. So, this is where we part our ways. Honestly, the pain that came was slow and torturous. I had not expect this at all and now, I suffered the consequences.

The pictures we had, I hid them away. I couldn't burn  them 'cause they were precious memories of us.

A friend said move forward, there's nothing left. I will not wait but the fact remains, I cared for you.  

On the phone

Tiny: Hey baby!

Me: Hi sweetie. What's up?

Oh the pet names, I wish I would not miss them at all. 

Tiny: Nothing much. Was thinking of you and missing ya. Haha.

You should have kept to yourself. 

Me: Oh, me too. It has been a long time since we've met. Though, it was just a week ago since we met up really.

In that whole week, I was thinking about your smile, your voice, your eyes....

Tiny: Have you decided what your chosen career will be?

Me: I don't think I'll be able to go with you.

Regretfully, the promise to be together for a few more years would not be fulffied. 

Tiny: Oh? Is it that bad? 

Me: Yeah. 

Please understand my silent pleas and apologies. 

Tiny: Don't be so down in the dumps. You'll catch up! *chirpy voice*

Me: Hopefully. Haha. So, what's your plan now?

Bless your good soul

Tiny: I'll be going with the guys tomorrow to check things out first. 

Me: Aah.

Why? Why?! 

Tiny: I'm going with him and his friends. The guys. 

No. NO! This cannot be happening!?

Me: Okay. 

Oh God, not the pain. Not again. Not now! 

 Me: Have fun. 

Tiny: I will. You too, okay. Have a nice day.

Me: ....

The darkness, I promised to stay away from is slowly enveloping me in. Swallowing my whole being and it feels like I'm falling into an endless pit.

I prayed to God that this will be a short one, just like the rest of them. I will not admit to anyone this feeling 'cause it was what that got me into the darkness in the first place. 

Maybe one day, I will embrace this feeling but it will not come so soon. 

So, goodbye.