one trashy night

Part 8

Choi Jung Soo told Choi Han that Kim Rok Soo was a surprisingly fragile person. And uncle or not, Choi Jung Soo would make it his personal mission to kick his ass if he hurt his closest friend.

Neither were pieces of information that Choi Han needed.

He'd already noticed the way Kim Rok Soo hesitated in the face of intimacy. The humble way he treasured everyone's affections when he'd been welcomed to spend time with the family. The way he always held himself back as if scared to fully accept any of it, just in case he'd lose it all.

Kim Rok Soo was difficult to read but he wasn't impossible for the careful observer.

And really, Choi Jung Soo didn't have to worry about Choi Han hurting him.

Gently, he pulled Kim Rok Soo into a hug, burying his face in the crook of his neck and holding him securely. As if trying to let him know with his whole body how reluctant he was to let Kim Rok Soo go.

How much he was willing to hold back just to see him happy.

"I'd like that." Choi Han said, smiling into Kim Rok Soo's neck. "I've wanted that since I first met you."

Kim Rok Soo stiffened and he knew he'd made him feel awkward but Choi Han wanted to be honest with his feelings.

He'd been spellbound since the moment they met.

He pulled away, facing Kim Rok Soo with a smile full of all affection he'd been ill adapted to hide. "We can go at whatever pace you'd like. I just want to be with you."

It was nice to see Kim Rok Soo's face so red even as he struggled to hide other signs of fluster. "O–oh. That's good then." He coughed awkwardly and Choi Han couldn't help but find it endearing. "I'm glad we're in agreement."

Choi Han rested his forehead against Kim Rok Soo's, eyes boring into his with an intensity that would make anyone a bit uneasy.

It only drew Kim Rok Soo in and he wasn't able to look away.

"May I kiss you?" He asked sweetly, so soft and kind that it was hard to deny him anything even if Kim Rok Soo wanted to.

"Y–yeah. Why are you asking something so obvious?" He chastised, seeming to regain some of his composure as he met Choi Han's affectionate gaze with his own.

"I just want to be sure." Choi Han kissed him gently, softly, lingering only a moment before pulling away. "I want to make you happy."

"...you do that plenty already." Kim Rok Soo grumbled, looking so thoroughly uncomfortable with the unfettered affection. His complaints weren't entirely sincere though. Choi Han hadn't missed the way that Kim Rok Soo had inched closer, one hand unconsciously clinging to the hem of Choi Han's shirt while the other rested on his chest.

"That's good to know." Choi Han kissed him again, this time pulling him closer and deepening the kiss as he indulged himself in the simple pleasure of being able to do so. By the time he pulled away, they were both short on breath. "You make me happy too."

Kim Rok Soo chuckled nervously. "You seem pretty confident about that. What if you learn more about me and become miserable?"

It wasn't like Kim Rok Soo to press like this, it was his usual policy to accept his current situation and work from there rather than fretting about something as uneasy as a future.

There was just something so addictive about devotion in Choi Han's eyes, his kiss, his touch.

Kim Rok Soo couldn't help the feeling of insecurity that came with the knowledge that perhaps that devotion would fade when they actually had the time to get to know one another on a deeper level.

For now they were only giving this whole romance a try. There were no guarantees and there was every reason for it to fail.

"Then Jung Soo will kick my ass for hurting you." Choi Han said factually, caressing Kim Rok Soo's cheek gently. "And more importantly, I'll lose out on someone who's truly valuable."

Treasured.

That was how Choi Han made him feel.

From the very first meeting. The way his dark eyes left no room for argument as he patiently and sweetly met Kim Rok Soo's insecurities with pure undiluted affection.

Kim Rok Soo couldn't help but agree.

If he learned more about Choi Han and decided to end this, he really would lose an absolutely precious person.

There was no point in worrying about tomorrow. Aside from mundane details about what they'd tell the Choi family if anything, tomorrow was meaningless.

All that really mattered was this lovable person in front of him right now.

Maybe it might just work if the future was full of present moments just like this.

Kim Rok Soo leaned in, claiming Choi Han's lips possessively as he let go of his final insecurity.

He could really have this for himself.

This sweet man who made him feel so full of happiness that he was terrified to lose it.

He didn't want to let it go.

He let all of his pent up emotions go into the kiss. The possessive desire to have Choi Han to himself. To lay claim to him and indulge himself in this hedonistic sweetness. To learn all the little ways he could make Choi Han smile. To hold his hand and have meals together and call him to talk about absolutely nothing of importance just to hear his voice.

The love that Kim Rok Soo had become a bit addicted to from the very first time he'd been exposed to it.

To indulge himself in the cute way that Choi Han smiled when he was praised. Or laugh at his ridiculous inability to act. To learn more about his hopes and dreams and make them a reality because Kim Rok Soo was nothing if not efficient.

He wanted this man.

Wholly and entirely.

To a person who was used to losing everything, it was a terrifying desire.

Selfish, possessive, and consuming.

Kim Rok Soo hardly wanted to pull away from the kiss, too engrossed in laying claim over this undeniably precious person. But he still had things he wanted to say.

"Let's take it slow." He said, not knowing how much his desirous gaze undermined his words. "Get to know each other better and decide where to go from there."

"If that's what you want." Choi Han smiled, pecking his lips gently. "I'd definitely like to spend more time together."

And because the two of them were so well known for their self control and impulse control, by the time Kim Rok Soo had returned to the Choi household for another birthday celebration it was paired with an engagement party as well.

It really was the best possible scenario.