𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒍𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒅 || 𝐊𝐚𝐳 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐤𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐗 𝐎𝐂

Dance of Fate

"I apologize again." The cook apologizes as the fruit is molding and the meat is rough.

"Don't apologize," I order her. "It's not your fault there's no fresh food coming to
Ketterdam." She smiles and leaves without another word.

Wylan, Wylans mother, Jesper, Inej, and I travel up to the music room at Jesper's request. We crowd around the piano as Jesper begins the dirtiest sea shanty.

"Gross Jesper," Inej remarks at one of Jesper's lines while Wylan laughs. We sit on the floor and stuff ourselves with sweets as he sings. Wylans mother retires early, despite our protests.

"I don't want to ruin your fun." She bids us goodnight and I give her a soft smile as she tenderly kisses each of us on the head.

Jesper begins singing again and I sing along, nudging Inej along to the tune. She gives up and laughs before singing along. By the end of the song, my middle burns with laughter and we all doubled over. This is what life is, being children, having fun with friends, being at peace. The peace only lasts so long.

As I trudge up the stairs to bed, I find myself aching for something. A hole has been cut through my heart and it burns with pain. I enter my room and wash. I dress in an extravagant silk nightgown. Alys had gifted me most of her wardrobe from before she got pregnant and left for the lake house with her music teacher. I flick the lamp on and see a letter on my nightstand. I suspiciously open the letter and smile at Kaz's unorderly scrawl.

𝑆𝑢𝑛𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑒 - 𝐺𝑜𝑡ℎ 𝐻𝑎𝑟𝑏𝑜𝑟

Of course, he'd managed to get into the locked house, past the servants and the four fools singing at the top of their lungs. It was only fair, I suppose. I have been coming and going at the Slat, slipping in and out of windows and doorways, leaving bits of information for Kaz when needed. I could have simply knocked on his office door, but it is easier this way.

Kaz has changed. I can still feel the ghost of his hands in mine from dancing and holding hands. His lips on mine. I had seen the faint glow of what could have been if he only let me in. I can't bear seeing him dressed in armor again, refusing touches and affection. I will not listen to him talk if he sees the Ice court heist as another job, another score, another advantage. If he pretends nothing has changed.

I check the stars and see the sun has just set over the horizon. I sigh and turn the lights down. The note is still clutched in my hand as I drift into a restless sleep.

The ropes tug at my ankles. They wrap around my arms and waist as though they are alive. I look down at the bottomless pit that is the ocean. I try to force water out of my lungs as I disappear beneath the glossy surface. The stars disappear and a dark figure disappears with the sky. I feel hands on my face and I open my eyes to see Kaz. An angel, his pale skin gloss, and his coffee-brown eyes glint. His raven hair swirls around his face in silky locks. I am pulled from his grip by the ropes, I see bubbles emerge from his mouth as he struggles against the water. An intense ringing fills my ears as the world goes dark and I hear it. I love you, Emris Arcane.

I have to drag myself from bed. I have developed bad habits with luxury. Eating when I like, sleeping in, lounging about. Nina would be proud. Being at Wylans house felt like an enchantment. I had been in this house before. This time I am free to wander the halls, I am free to bump into people as I open the safes. I rub my grogginess away.

A maid has laid a black silk robe out and fur-lined slippers. I still prefer black and white and the maids respect that, no blues reds, or yellows. Occasionally I will dress in a navy blue or forest green and the maids celebrate but today I will wear black.