Until my Final Breath (Shikimori's not just a Cutie fanfic)

Chapter 5: Honey Lemon Tea (pt. 3)

Before I could end my sentence, I got cut off when she grabbed my hand and cupped it in her palms. She starts squeezing it and brushing her thumbs on some of my knuckles.

"...Do you think I can let you go that easy after hearing about that?" She asked me quietly while trying to avoid my gaze. "What if something happens to you on your way home? What if something happens to you tonight? I don't want to bear thinking about that..."

I feel like my chest is getting heavier. I take a look at her cupping hands and get noticed by the soring red mark on one of her hands, which is the aftermath of that slam on the bed frame she did earlier. It's not as bad as what I last saw, but I doubt that the pain has been eased. After all, who could stay completely calm when they hear that someone they care about is in some sort of illness or just simply had something bad happen to them.

"... You could get in trouble with your mom when she gets home tomorrow, Shikimori-san." I tried to convince her one last time, but she shook her head.

"I-I don't care! I can deal with that later!" Shikimori retorted.

"W-What about somewhere for me to sleep? I don't see any spare pillow-"

"I have a spare one! I can lend you that!"

"H-How about your brother? Will he be fine with that?"

"He'll understand! I can just... e-explain to him!"

"Okay, Shikimori-san, that last part is kinda..." I was about to tell her about her uncertainty when suddenly her squeeze on my hand got tighter and cut me off. She starts squeezing her lips while her palms are getting shakier, especially the soring one, like she is desperately trying not to let me go.

"P-Please... just... stay with me... That's all I a-ask for..." Shikimori pleaded while lowering her head to her cupping hands and touching her forehead on my cupped hand, her voice was almost trembling.

This makes my chest even heavier. My heartbeat is getting faster like it can pop out of my chest at any second. Perhaps Shikimori-san is afraid of what might happen to me. I think she still needs more time to process what she has heard. However, the more I see her like this, the more pain I feel. I remember what she said about 'bear the burden I am piling up inside my chest', and I guess this is her effort of trying to do it. It must be very difficult for her to bear such news for the first time. Even I could not accept it the first time I received it, back in the hospital. Maybe right now, Shikimori-san needs me to be by her side...

'Please, Izumi-san, allow me to bear this burden you are piling up inside your chest, okay?'

But if anyone needs someone to be by their side at this difficult time, it should be me... Izumi, you did something wrong again...

"... Okay, I'll stay," I told her while reaching out my other hand to soothe her shaking palms.

When Shikimori-san hears it, she shoots back at me, her lips get more relaxed and curl into a smile. Her palms are no longer shaking, as they also start to be more relaxed and loosen my hand. Before I know it, she leans forward and wraps her arms around my neck, while placing her chin on my shoulder, which I return with an awkward wrap around her waist.

"Thank you, Izumi-san..." She whispered into my ears and rested her head on my shoulder. We stay like that for a long time, as time has stopped to leave us a space for ourselves.

~0O0~

"So... How do you know about that?"

We had been sitting in silence in her room for quite a while. Shikimori-san was holding one of my hands with her soring one, while her thumb was brushing each of my knuckles. She was having a concerning look on her face. It's not that I didn't like it, but this situation was getting a little awkward, so I spoke first and asked her to break the silence.