I have been in my head for too long, too much.
But now that I need it the toughts have run dry
I need to take action but fail to see the opportunities, sadly I am better with typed words than I am with spoken ones in real life, therefore I once again burrowed myself in a world where only words can count.
I should have learned my lesson, felt it on mz own flesh on mz own emotions that actions mean more than words.
I have to correct myself get rid of my flaws.
I lack time, change needs now.
But I fail once again, fail myself and everyone else.
My head is screaming at me yet it's so silent, not filled with the information I need.
I am burrowed in self defense, trying to justify myself where there is no justification.
I try to change but somehow it stays away.
I tought I was trying, tought I was already changing and doing better. Trying to sort the he'll I have gone trough, I am still not entirely here. Still in mz toughts, still thinking how I can do better, how to process all I've felt these days.
It's been a storm, a train wreck that I pulled myself into, I regretted not listening to my intention, now I regret listening to my solutions but it's not the one I sought out to be. It seems to make everything worse, I don't know what to trust anymore.
