"Just making sure." She simply replied as we walk through my room upstairs. I can't believe we're arguing toward bathroom's.
"Are you nervous?" I asked while heading to my room, trying to hide my playful smile.
" I just have to pee, Miss Hughes." My eyes rolled as she called me with my surname, Ariella is much more convincing and it hits different when her mouth utter it as if it was the sweetest candy she ever had.
"Sorry," I swung the door open and let her in in my room. She look around and explore her eyes at the four wall of my room. Thankfully I cleaned my space right before she arrived.
She didn't say any words and finally went inside my bathroom. I decided to finish my Calculus while waiting for her. The effect of the sleeping pill I took earlier slowly consuming my vitality, I can finally rest from physical and mental exhaustion, but then I remember there's a woman in my bathroom who's not just my General Biology teacher but the woman I used to loved . Did I really unlove her? Or did I command myself to cut whatever feelings I have for her in order not lose her forever? I sigh and fighting my sleepiness.
A gentle touch from my shoulder made me jolted a little bit, I look at her through my shoulder and turned my gaze back to my notebook. My chest pounding uncontrollably as her palms caress my shoulder while standing at my back.
"I'm sorry for pushing you away, I shouldn't done that.." She started, I closed my eyes shut and my half- conscious self stood up and sit at the edge of my bed.
"It's not necessary for you to say sorry, we shouldn't always push things the way we want it." I brushed my hair with my fingers trying to put my sane together.
She stood still in her position before deciding to sit beside me. The rain already fall while the sky was already dark.
"I'm afraid you might take it too deep and I'm worried it might affect you seriously and blame me afterwards."she softly said. I think she's not really concern about me, she's concern about herself, I guess. She was afraid if someone gonna blame her-- well, no one wants to be blamed to something that they didn't do. I did make a fuss at the very first place and I don't want her to feel obligated by reciprocating to my stupid love.
"Is this the reason why you're here?" I asked vaguely, she didn't talk.
"Ariella, what happened to your arm?"She asked and changed the conversation, I could sense the worry in her voice.
There was a contusion to my left arm, she held my arm gently and worriedly meet my eyes. It is because of my sleepless nights doing my school stuffs and thinking random things that passing by on my mind. My skin is pretty pale as well, I would pass out in any minute now if only I don't fight the effect of the drug I take.
"It's nothing. You can leave now." I said with an authority despite of my weak system.
"I won't just leave you here," she insisted and tuck the strand of my hair behind my ear.
"Don't act as if you cared." I uttered and was about to stood up to go side at the of my bed but my vision went blurry and fall back to my seating position.
"You're not really okay," She sounds worriedly sick, ignoring my hurtful words towards her but I just crawled down to my bed and tuck myself on my soft cover.
"Just leave." I said before closing my eyes. My exaggerate sleepiness brought me to deep sleep and didn't mind whether she leave or not.
^^
I could feel the headache as soon as I slowly open my eyes. It was late for me to realize I was hugging the person beside me, I looked up only to see the woman sleeping peacefully while her arm snaking through my waist and the other was on my head serves as my pillow.
What is she doing here? Did she lay beside me when I fall asleep? I carefully get up and look at the clock in the bed side table, it's already nine o'clock in the evening. The rain is still pouring while the rumble of the thunder made the sliding window create a sound.
I went back to bed and gently tap her arm, "Wake up, the night is getting deep." I whispered, she slowly open her eyes trying to adjust her vision as the fluorescent of my room is open. She sit back and didn't talk as she was regaining her consciousness.
"I asked your maid if we can take you to the hospital because of your contusions, but she told me you have a medication and it's normal when you're stress. Didn't you take your medicine?" She asked and reach out for my wrist. I took a seat and let her talk.
"I took sleeping pill than taking my medication, I wanna rest." I replied and look down on the floor.
"That's why you fell asleep that fast.." I want to ask her why she's been on my bed 'til now, but I want her to be one explain it.
"It's getting late, you should go home," I paused, my heart really wish she would stay for more time despite that I'm pushing her away. "I'm not mad to you and what happened there to the camp, if that's what you want to hear." I cleared, she slowly nodded.
She gently leave my bed and stood in front of me, " you were having a nightmare earlier and I tried to wake you up but you just kept on murmuring something while there's a tears in your eyes. I was worried, I held your hand but you held it tight until I decided to stay and I fell asleep.." She bowed down and took my arm and trace my contusion with her fingers. She look up at me and reciprocate to her stares.
"I should go.. " She finally let go of my arm and she headed to my door. I don't have enough courage to tell her to stay. I needed her, a person who can replace my loneliness through her presence.
"Goodnight," She said before closing the door.
___
To be continued...
