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[2] Romeo and Juliet: a Comedy

     "...and you are sure about this? The County Paris will be quite disappointed," Lady Capulet asked, uncertain.
     "My Lady, County Paris is my cousin, and I may assure you he has several other potential brides who would love to have him. I am younger than he, richer than he, and I care greatly for your daughter," Mercutio assured.
     "Yes, I love him. Very much. And he loves me," Juliet said vehemently, holding onto Mercutio's arm with an almost painful grip.
     "Very well, then. You have my blessing, but I will have to take this to the lord of the house before we go through with this," Lady Capulet agreed reluctantly.

     As they walked away, Juliet thanked Mercutio over and over and over again.
     "I assure you, it's no problem, as long as we do not go through with this. I'm happy to help you delay, but you should know, my hand is already taken," Mercutio said, just to be sure.
     "Oh, to whom are you betrothed? If I would have known you had a wife, I would have never asked," Juliet said sadly, face falling.
     "I have no wife," Mercutio said, brows furrowing a bit.
     "Then who-"
     "Mercutio, dearest, you must explain. What am I hearing of your engagement?" Benvolio asked, sounding quite betrayed, bounding up to them with Romeo close behind.
     "Is this her? You are engaged to my love and you had not the heart to tell me?" Romeo asked, also quite hurt.
     "Your love?" Juliet asked.
     "Your love?" Benvolio turned to Romeo, also confused.
     "Juliet and I danced earlier. We kissed, and I thought-" Romeo began.
     "Romeo, I believe we are quite unwanted, if this is the arrangement," Benvolio gestured to Mercutio and Juliet, "So we'd best be on our way and let the newly engaged have their night."
     "May I have a say in this, first? I feel it is important to mention we are not actually engaged," Mercutio interjected, a bit exasperated.
     "Then why did I hear Lord Capulet exclaiming his joy about his daughter marrying Prince Mercutio Escalus?" Benvolio asked, eyes narrowing.
     "Because that is what we told him. If we didn't, poor miss Juliet would have been married off to my cousin, who is ten years older than her and not worthy of anyone's hand. We're delaying that. I'm not actually getting married to her. Though you must also keep in mind that I will not be marrying you, either, because I can't. We've discussed this," Mercutio explained. Benvolio became a bit less tense, though he still looked quite skeptical. He was also a bit speechless. How was he to reply to that?
     "No, no. Go through with it," Romeo said suddenly, face lighting up.
     "What?" Mercutio, Benvolio, and Juliet all cried at the same time.
     "Go through with it! Juliet is to marry a rich man. Mercutio, that's you. And your parents wanted you to marry a rich girl, right? So it works," Romeo said excitedly.
     "Romeo, I don't know if you forgot, but-"
     "Don't try to tell me you don't love women. I already know that. I'm sure Juliet doesn't love you, either, and if she did, I would question her judgement," Romeo went on, ignoring Benvolio's sound of offense, "You two can get married knowing that it's not for love, and that you both are committed to other people. But only you two know that. Your families will be satisfied, and you can both have your love lives outside of each other, knowing that it's not unfaithful, because you never loved each other in the first place."
     "Romeo, have you no brain? There is no way-"
     "No, no, Benvolio," Mercutio interrupted, "He may be on the correct path. This could work."

     And that is how Mercutio and Juliet ended up getting married. Not but a week and a half later, they stood dressed in all white in front of the friar, saying their vows and trying not to laugh through them. Too many people were watching for them to mess up.
     On top of the fact that they'd still get to see their significant others, Mercutio and Juliet got along swimmingly. She enjoyed his humor and he enjoyed her insight. Though they acted more like siblings than a couple, it was nice knowing they would be able to stand living together and making public appearances together and such.
     After the wedding, they greeted people and stayed at the party for hours before going to their new, big, empty home. Well, mostly empty, at least.
     "Huzzah for the newlyweds!" Romeo cheered, standing up and running to hug Juliet.
     "You both look wonderful. I'm so glad you could make this arrangement work," Benvolio smiled, also standing up.
     "Me too, though I still find it difficult to grasp that Romeo had a good idea," Mercutio teased, "But despite everything, it worked. Can you imagine if it hadn't?"
     "Honestly, no. I would rather be banished from Verona than separate from Juliet," Romeo said, kissing Juliet's hand.
     "And I would rather die than continue to be slandered for frolicking with Montagues instead of finding a wife. Even Tybalt was cross with me for associating with Montagues, and I hardly know the man," Mercutio agreed, "It's a good thing I'm secondborn or else I would have been forced into marriage years ago."
     "How unfortunate that would have been. I would kill myself before marrying Paris," Juliet grimaced at the very thought.
     "Well, then let us not dwell on what didn't happen. Let us celebrate the present. Shall we away to Mantua? The couple deserves their honeymoon, and if Romeo and I just happened to be there as well..." Benvolio trailed off with a smile.
     "Mantua? Is the sickness that was spreading there gone, now?" Mercutio asked.
     "I care not. My things are packed, let's away!" Romeo said. The others cheered.

     (They were not allowed into Mantua. Maybe it was for the best.)