Inheritance

CHAPTER 23

"You had to do assassination missions, Ero-sennin?" Naruto asked, curiosity plainly displayed on his features. "I didn't think you'd have ever wanted to do that kind of mission. I'd never have pegged my Dad for them..." The blond added, in a near silent murmur.

"I'll be totally honest with you Naruto, I hated doing them, and so did your father. But times were different when we were taking that kind of mission. We were at war with several different countries, surrounded on all sides. It was kill, or watch Konoha burn. I still regret every life I've ever taken in this line of work, but would never take any of it back, because I know what it would mean for my village. And that's the most important thing to remember when you've done this, Naruto. It will hurt, a lot. The guilt will be more than you can likely handle. But you mustn't ever let go of that guilt, because as long as you feel that, it means you're still human, that you haven't turned into some kind of bloodthirsty animal. But you also can't forget, that it had to be done, for the sake of the village you want to protect. The home you'd give your own life to defend."

"I understand, I really do - I'm just not sure I'll ever be able to accept that it was something that had to be done, that I couldn't have found another way."

"I still think that, but it's something that you have to work through when you get to it. I'll be there to help you, and so will everyone you know; just like Sarutobi-sensei and my team helped me. I still struggle with it more than I probably should. Every time I take a life, I make sure to take a note of their names, and pray for them in my own time. It doesn't help much, but it's enough to get me through."

Naruto's eyes widened slightly at the revelation that Jiraiya struggled with anything related to being a shinobi. The blond would never have admitted it, but the man had seemed totally invincible up until now.

"I'll tell you what else helps - knowing that you did it in the most respectful, and painless way possible. How about when we make up camp I take you through some things that will help you do that, and when we're done, I'll teach you a new jutsu to take your mind off it - one that I guarantee no-one your age in Konoha knows? I have a toad watching the man you're being sent after, so I'll know if we need to get there straight away. As long as he doesn't make a move, we can afford to take a bit more time to get there."

Naruto smiled at the gesture, and also at the prospect of learning a new technique; yet still, he couldn't shake the growing sense of unease in the back of his mind about what he was about to do.

And then, there was something else. Jiraiya had said that there weren't many people that took assassination missions, because of the strain it puts on people. If he completed his mission, would he then be forced to take more, since the Hokage knew he could take it? He could always opt out of course, but he couldn't help but consider that a little cowardly, if the village needed him.

But that was when another thought hit him.

If he refused an assassination mission, that would mean somebody else would have to be sent out in his place. Kakashi-sensei, or Ero-Sennin, or even whoever that Anko woman was. Somebody else would have to live with the guilt Jiraiya spoke of, because he wasn't willing to.

If he was okay with doing that - putting his comrades in the firing line for no reason other than cowardice, he realised, he could never become Hokage. Much less one that would make his parents proud.

It was unacceptable to him, that kind of failure, and that kind of selfishness.

Naruto took a deep breath, and moved to catch up to Jiraiya, who had started to pull ahead of him already. Now he had a reason for doing this mission, one that he could truly get behind.

He would, so the people he cared about wouldn't have to.

"That's enough for practice on the killing techniques, Naruto. I have something a little more fun for you to learn, come back over here and I'll explain it to you."