More than just a friend || Roger Taylor

51- don't doubt yourself for a minute

"I know he has."

"And now he can't do anymore damage. It's over. You're safe." Roger reassured me again. "And it's gonna be okay, because eventually, and I don't care how long it takes, wether it takes two weeks or two years, we'll get through this."

I acknowledged what he said, tried to let it bring a spark to the numbness, but noticed how his desperate words still fell defeated by the cold. All I could think of was how grateful I was to have him there, literally right by my side. I was reminded of all the times he was there before now, and how some of my favourite memories of him were made during the worst times of my life.

"I wanna go to the beach." I blurted out, almost lifting my hands to cover my mouth as I said it. Roger chuckled slightly, disbelief seeming to shake his head from each side as my eyes widened. "Roger I'm not joking."

"You're tired. You're not... you're not well enough."

"I am." I huffed, crossing my arms like a child who'd just been told off for something they definitely did do. Roger was probably right, but still, when my mind could only think about how perfectly he'd been there for me during that one spring sun set, I was desperate to relive the moment. "Please..."

"Lynn..." Roger let a sigh escape, admitting an obvious defeat to a battle he'd already lost from the beginning.

"I'll have a shower when we get back. I promise." I smiled brightly, kissing him for a brief and subtle moment before his cheeks tinged pink and lips denied a subtle smile.

"Ugh fine."

-

And so no more than an hour later- that's exactly where we were. The soft breeze of the wind tickled us gracefully as our eyes watched the tangerine sun lower itself behind the endless waves, a gentle warmth to the air as me and Roger sat contently in it.

We didn't talk, but that's because we knew there was no real need to. There wasn't a desperation for the silence to be broken or air to be cleared, because it was perfect the way it was. His arm sat gently around my frame as the other let his worm fingers intertwine with mine.

It probably should've been the time I needed to take to reflect on the relationship I'd finally watch disappear between me and my dad, but it wasn't. Of course not. I wasn't about to sit there and remind myself of every time he'd hurt me when I wasn't even prepared to get over the last.

I thought about Roger. Roger Meddows Taylor. The man who owned my heart, in it's one whole piece. The man who I loved more in this exact moment than I did two hours ago- even though I wasn't entirely sure it was possible. But I think that's my favourite thing about love, there's always more of it. There's never a point where your love towards someone simply stops. It can become greater or smaller, but never simply stay as it is.

"Lynn..." Roger puffed out a short breathe of air, his nerves seeming to escape with it. He didn't say anything after that, he simply let the ache and agony of the one breathless word linger between us. The way in which he said it sounded worn, as if it'd rolled of his tongue one too many times. It wasn't like he didn't want to say it again, it was just that he simply had said it so many times before.

"Roger..." I replied, my cheek lifting from his shoulder as his name rolled of my tongue like it hadn't had enough time to. It wanted to more. It felt like it'd been held back for so many years. "Roger do you think we'll get through this ?"

He paused. He froze. He didn't even blink. He just froze. For a maybe a second or two. But still, for the longest pause of my entire life. I swallowed hard, mr hands raising to cover the stitched up wound my cheek held as he nodded incredibly slowly.

"Adelynn... you're the strongest person I've ever known. I don't care what it takes... but we will. As long as you don't doubt yourself for a minute, we'll be exactly who we were before."

"And what happens to us after this... you're not gonna start loving me less are you ?" I didn't know why I thought that, but i couldn't help but think it. The factor of it plagued my mind.

"What ?"

"I didn't want you to be here cause you think it feels like the right thing." His face dropped. I mean every part of it fell. Even his jaw. It loosened and lowered itself besides every other part of him.

"I'm here because I love you more than anything in the entire world Lynn. And I'm not gonna wake up tomorrow and love you any less. I'm gonna love you even more." His reassurance flooded through me, coursing through every inch of me as I slowly nodded and let a subtle tug pull my lips. "Don't be such a twat."

"Erm I wasn't." I chuckled, scoffing sarcastically as I fell back into his hold. He placed a soft kiss against the top of my head, carefully running his thumb against my cheek to give himself a chance to catch a glimpse of the damage.

"I think we should try and get this looking a little better..." he muttered. "The Doctors didn't exactly do a fantastic job in cleaning it up... it looks like your entire cheeks been caved in."

"I think it has." I laughed a little, not because the Mark I had haunting my expression was funny, but because I didn't know what else to do. It was probably the worst cut he'd ever left me with, which was purely because of my age. I wasn't an easy little girl to hurt.

My entire cheek was purple and black, blue highlighting the bruises harshness as red surround and controlled the deep gash his rings had left to be open. My head has gained itself a cut as it hit the table, but that was minor compared to the permanence on the left side of my face.

"I'm thinking... that we should get whatever you want for dinner, watch Aristocats, and have a shower." Roger smiled, looking down at me as the subtle pink at my cheeks answered for me. "I'll help you shower-"

"Excuse me ?"

"I don't mean fucking you, horny bastard, I mean helping you with your hair and the back of your head."

"Oh right."

That day was the first day since that I'd felt a little part of me awaken again. Though the rest of me stayed buried beneath my streaming tears, aching head, frail figure and wounded frame, a small and tiny detail that made me seemed to fall back into the reality me and Roger were facing. Even though I was the one haunted with my past and present, Roger wouldn't dare let me try and get through it alone.

An- I'm alive dw