A Beat for Cherry Bomb

Ch.9 Living and Surviving

"On a scale from one to ten, how bad do you want to kill me right now?"

"I'm hovering somewhere in the high thirties."

Tubbo and Tommy stood in the middle of the shop, the latter holding the former up over his shoulder. The blonde had the biggest smile on his face, laughing as he saw the deadpan expression on his friends.

"Nah, you wouldn't kill me. You love me!"

Tubbos' expression somehow grew more into that 'I am going to skin you and sell it on the black market' look. "No, I am going to skin you and sell it on the black market." (Who would've thought?)

"Alright! Ok- uh- let's put you down!" Tommy strained a laugh as he set the brunette on the floor, holding his hands up in surrender.

"If you're going to do that to anyone, do it to Ranboo. It'll be funnier since he's built like a spaghetti noodle."

"Oh yea, you're definitely right," Tommy said with a smirk on his lips, before dragging Tubbo off towards Ranboo.

It had been a month since his first race.

A month of racing. A month of home. A month of family. A month of living.

It was amazing.

Tommy didn't know how he lived before.

(Well he did. It was full of emptiness. Empty hallways. Empty eyes. Empty life.

His grades were slipping, even though he tried his best. Purpled was the only friend he had, but even sometimes he was busy. He spent his time distracting himself from the feeling of nothing growing.

He learned songs he loved on the guitar, sometimes even writing his own. He learned new tactics in fighting, perfecting them to a T.

His life before was nothing.

He wasn't living like he is now. He was a shell of a person, no real personality unless he was with Purpled.)

Tommy didn't know how he survived before.

(He survived in fear. He survived with the fear of his only friend abandoning him, throwing him to the wolves.

That fear took over his body, using him as its puppet. He would constantly feel like he's never enough, like he doesn't deserve anything. That he doesn't deserve life.

He's now learned to take that fear and use it as fuel. To use that fear to drive him to be a better Tommy. He's using that fear to survive. )

The past month has been the best in his whole life, probably.

Even better than that week he went on vacation to a warm place with his 'family'. Even better than that day where it was just him and Wilbur against the world, driving around with no destination in mind.

He loves living. He loves living without that fear controlling his every move.

It's great. His friends are there to support his every move, even his lowest points.

When Tommy was zoned out on nothing, an empty look in his eyes, Ranboo snapped him out of it and offered to go get burgers. They never talked about it.

When Tommy came into work with red eyes and old tear stains on his face, Sam suggested he take it easy for the day. They never talked about it.

When Tommy just didn't look like himself, his laugh sounding hollow, Tubbo cracked a joke that got a real laugh out of him. They never talked about it.

When Tommy was crying in the forest by the track, just needing an escape from that home he's stuck in, Dream just sat there with him, consoling him and offering hugs. They talked about that one.