Emotionless: Spock x Reader

Universe Two, Rescue Mission

I could practically see McCoy's eyes roll. "Feeling philosophical, huh? Massive blood loss will do that to you. Looks like we're lucky that girlfriend of yours hasn't gotten there yet."

To that I gave a dry laugh. "Who said I hadn't? But I did my thinking on that long ago. No need to dredge up the past, Doctor."

Taking my hand, Spock turned his head to McCoy. "You asked me why (Y/n) and I were keeping a distance, despite us being together. Why... I had thought about leaving." I didn't know he was thinking about that, my brow furrowed hearing those words. "I became concerned, in the light of Vulcan's demise, that I owed a debt of duty to my species."

McCoy seemed to understand. "You thought you should be off making little Vulcan's, huh? Yeah, I can see the dilemma. Not wanting to move too fast in a relationship you want, but at the same time that duty pressing closer and closer."

To this his hand tightened around mine, his head turning to me. "I intended to discuss it with you, the day I gave you the necklace, but I received some news which affected me unexpectedly."

Both McCoy and I were looking at him now. "What news?" I asked, my thumb tracing the back of his hand.

After taking a breath, he told me. "Ambassador Spock has died." My eyes widened,.Two years ago, Spock told me about him, about who he was, and who I was to him. Or had been in a sense. All McCoy could do was apologize. Neither of us could imagine what it would feel like. "When you've lived as many lives as he, fear of death is illogical. Plus, he gets to see his wife again... his version of (Y/n)."

I turned my head to face forward, so that was it. "Fear of death is what keeps us alive."

A slight smile could be seen, despite the pain in Spock's eyes. "I want to live as he did. That is why I decided to redirect my efforts and continue his work on New Vulcan." Spock was leaving... leaving Starfleet and possibly me behind. He just hadn't told anyone else about it yet.

McCoy started making jokes. "Well, I can tell you he, nor (Y/n) are gonna like that. Hell, I don't know what they'd do without you." I was starting to feel heavy, was that Spock leaning on me? Or just the blood loss? "I mean, me on the other hand, I'd throw a party, but..." Spock let out a slight laugh, which turned into him chuckling. "My god, you're getting delirious." With little time to move, I helped McCoy get Spock out of our little hovel. "McCoy, Spock, and (Y/n) to Enterprise crew. Come in, Enterprise crew. Anyone."

I lifted my head. "You won't reach anyone out here. If they weren't taken, the communicators are probably being jammed."

McCoy turned his attention to us. "Come on you two. Come on, you can make it." McCoy took his other arm as I did my best to help support.

Spock and I knew the odds. "Leaving us behind will significantly increase your chances of survival, Doctor."

Not that he seemed to agree. "Well, that's damn chivalrous of you, but completely out of the question."

This time I tried. "It would be imperative to locate any surviving crew."

To that McCoy made a quip back. "And here I was thinking you two cared." There were three ships headed our way.

Spock and I were standing side by side. "Of course we care, Leonard. I always assumed my respect for you was clear. The dialogue we have had across the years has always..."

Stopped mid sentence. "It's okay, Spock. You don't have to say it. Well, at least I won't die alone." To that I laughed. Then, Spock was gone. McCoy and I stared at the empty place where he had once been. "Well, that's just typical. Come on, you Bastards!" The next second, McCoy was gone. I just shrugged, not really understanding what was going on when my view also changed.

I ended up just collapsing onto the floor once the strange feeling stopped. It was dark, and cold, and I didn't know where to go. So I found myself taking a seat and thinking about everything Spock had talked about. And I found myself... feeling alone for the first time in a very long time.

When my eyes opened, I heard arguing, and made my way to it. "Mr. Checkov, can you reconfigure the search parameters in order to compensate for a formula?" Spock walked quickly up to me, helping me to a computer so I could put it into the system. He could and Spock eyed me for a moment asking what it was. Spock already knew. "Vokaya, Mr Checkov. A mineral unique to Vulcan which emits low-level radiation."

McCoy didn't seem to understand. "(Y/n), what the hell would a Vulcan mineral be doing way out here?" Kirk wanted to know where I was going with it, and Spock just stared at me.

I frowned slightly. "I... gave Lieutenant Uhura the necklace Spock gave me. I was doing some work in the lab before we left... that doesn't react well to low-level radiation."

This seemed to confuse McCoy. "You gave your girlfriend radioactive jewelry?" Spock explained that the emission was harmless. But it had a unique signature easily identifiable. "You gave your girlfriend a tracking device." That statement... left the whole room silent.

My eyes darted between each of the people in this room. "That was not my intention." McCoy was glad Spock didn't respect him. I gave a bit of a dry chuckle. The computer behind us beeped, having located the mineral. Now we had something to work with. It was now time for a good old fashioned Jail Break.

I was to stay here with Scotty and Checkov. Kirk, McCoy, Spock and the lady would infiltrate and get the crew out. I helped as best I could, as far as modifications were concerned that was easy on newer ships. This one was older than dirt so the specs were slightly different. We were managing to get the crew twenty at a time. The modifications were doing their job. When Spock made it back, he hugged me. I just groaned in response. Spock gave me the necklace back.

Next project, make the ship that was never meant to launch, fly. McCoy had me wait with him in Sick Bay. I was going to be pretty much useless anywhere else. We made it... by the skin of our teeth. Now all that was left to do was make it back to Yorktown. I wanted to protest Spock going with McCoy onto one of the ships but I was overruled. All I could do was wait in Sick Bay until this was over.

***

When we crashed later I decided to grab a phaser and walk around just in case. I saw someone strange and followed them off the ship. He was holding some kind of metal object, and he wasn't part of the crew, but he looked familiar. He was headed to the atmospheric regulator core. Why? The climb up was painful to say the least, but I made it. Kirk came running out the door so I followed him and stood with my phaser pointed at the strange man.

I watched Kirk try to talk him down, and the man just seemed to get angrier and angrier. When they entered the box all I could do was try to get a shot on the metal object. Not that they made it easy. Throwing punch after punch. They even ended up outside the box. Once he got back to the center I fought him. But got knocked back. When Kirk got there I jumped into the area. It had to be stopped. I helped prime the hatch but one of them was stuck. Even with the both of us pulling at it. The fan almost sucked us in, Kirk and I both tumbled to the now open vent. Luckily McCoy figured out how to fly that ship and with Spock's help we both got into that small ship.

Kirk while Kirk was breathing a sigh of relief, I could only frown at the words he spoke. "What would I do without you, Spock?" When we finally made it back to someplace we could relax, I left. I walked away from Spock, because I needed to think.

After a time, I came to a decision. If everyone was going to leave me again, then I wouldn't hang on. It was their choice, not mine. It never would have mattered if I wanted them to stay, because in the end, everyone leaves. That was why I didn't expect anything when McCoy invited me to Kirk's birthday party. "So... when are you leaving for New Vulcan? And, umm, you had to finish your mission report."

Spock cleared his throat. "I do have to finish that, but I thought it would be more pleasing to engage with you socially. As for New Vulcan... perhaps one day. There are still things I would like to engage with you first. The Admiral... said you were a light to him. A piece of a puzzle he didn't know he needed until after he met you. I tend to agree."

I stared at him with wide eyes. "So, you're not leaving..."

He smiled. "No, not until we're ready to go there together."