good things fall apart • sirius black

During the Christmas Holidays 1977

He said something whilst she was gazing at him, but her eyes were too busy watching his lips move for her ears to listen. She hummed in reply, hoping that would suffice as an answer to whatever he'd asked her, but when his lips curled up into a cheeky grin, she knew she'd been caught out.

"You weren't listening were you, beautiful?"

"Too pretty. Brain no work," she teased.

"Well, then I'll ask you to shut your eyes, just for a moment. I need your ears wide open." Ellie pushed herself closer into his side and did as he'd asked. "Don't worry, I won't let you walk into a tree."

"Better bloody not or I swear-"

"We should get married too."

Ellie came to an abrupt halt, her arm slipping from around Sirius' as her eyes shot open. He was stood before her now, casual as if he'd merely stated the time, and yet, he hadn't. He'd said nothing of the sort. He'd used the m word. 

"Is that a proposal?" She asked and he merely shrugged.

"Yeah."

"And do you have a ring?"

"Not right this second."

"So this wasn't planned at all, was it?"

"Sometimes I speak before I think..."

They stood in a stunned silence, the snow around them the perfect noise insulator, and never had the forest been so quiet. Sirius might have appeared casual initially, but now, he took his hands out of his pockets, soul bared naked for her. He wasn't making a joke or wondering what their future would look like, he was asking. Her adult boyfriend, part bearded and beautiful eyed, may have surprised them both, but he was asking. And he meant it.

"I'm still only seventeen." Ellie said eventually.

Sirius took a couple of steps towards her, the toes of his combat boots touching hers. "You made the exact same excuse when we talked about this just over a year ago. You weren't of age then, you're not eighteen now, they'll always be something..." His brow set in a flat line. "I was serious about marrying you before we were together, even amongst the mess that was Flora fucking Buchanan and my lack of communication skills, and I'm serious now." 

Ellie thought for a moment, searched his eyes for any spec of uncertainty, but she should've known better. She wouldn't find any; she was as much his world and he was hers, and despite age and circumstance, marriage was the next logical step for them.

"Fifth year when we went to Grimmauld Place-" she began, holding up a hand before he could protest, "don't cut me off I won't dwell on it too long. I spoke to Narcissa at Cygnus and Druella's and she told me about her wedding to Lucius set for the August after we'd graduate. I said at the time I'd never want that, and it scared me when you spoke so surely of it before, because you don't just marry me, Padfoot, you marry the Gryffindor name... It's everything pureblood you hate."

She'd expected a thoughtful silence from him, but once again, he was shrugging. "And I've never wanted to get married either."

"Then why did you just-"

"'Cause it's you, Cubs," he interrupted. "I'd do anything for you, and whilst I never wanted to play happy families with someone, I want to with you. Yeah, Prongs is family, and Moons and Wormy too, but I want us to be a little family... Like just us. With us sharing the same name, living in Protea House eventually. It's different, you know."

And Ellie wanted that too, she wanted that so badly, but the matter wasn't so simple.

"But what about everything that comes with?" She asked. "Maybe not now, but after the war they'll be obligations for me to reconnect with the Ministry, not because I want to or my dad wants to, but because mum would've wanted that for us both, she would've wanted us to remain prominent public figures. People like to see my family as figure heads for Hogwarts, it puts their faith in the stability of the wizarding world because we've lasted so long untainted, and faith in stability will be needed in the mess we'll be left in. I understand that we don't know how long off we are from the end of this war, whether things will even be the same after it, but whenever that time comes, those obligations will be there. I will have to become a shining example for witches and wizards of all ages. Brave, still strong, a distraction from our world's recent history and a reminder of its wonderful magical one. An ornament to society, Padfoot."

This speech she'd had planned for too long, because no matter how unconditionally she loved Sirius or how selfish she wanted to be, it felt like she'd never have that option as Youngest Descendent of Godric Gryffindor.  

She took a deep breath. "And that's a title which covers the entirety of my family, including who I chose to marry."

Sirius didn't hesitate in reply, maybe he'd expected her protest. "I've played ornament before, I can do it again."

"But I don't want that for you. Not after you fought for so long, finally got free."

He scowled, pursed his lips together. "And what do you want for yourself?" 

That had never been an easy question. Recently, she'd sacrificed so much for the better of others - her N.E.W.Ts, her dream career, hopes for her life - that what she wanted for herself had been long lost. There was no turning back, she'd made her decision to join the Order so Rabastan could feed them Death Eater information in secret, so they could hopefully see the end of this war, and she'd made that decision alone. No one knew besides Léa, no one would know besides her, and now, there wasn't much left that Ellie could say she wanted.

She despaired with the complicated nature of it all.

"I want to be selfish with you, but I-"

"Then say yes. Don't overthink this and just say yes." Sirius took her face in his icy hands. "Marry me, Persephone Eloise. It could be fun."

She chuckled despite everything. "It could be fun?"  

"Sooo much fun," he emphasised. "Such a power move."

And perhaps it could be that simple? Perhaps Ellie was allowed the one thing left that she wanted out of life? Besides, when had she ever been able to say no to Padfoot Potter?

"Yes."

He cocked his head to the side, feigning confusion with that cheeky grin of his. "Yes what?"

"You're an arse," she told him, laughing in between the kisses he pulled her into.

"I told you when you were sixteen that I'd be your trophy pureblood husband and I intend on keeping that promise," he declared, lips still on hers, Ellie urging him to stop talking and kiss her more instead. "I'll wash, dry, and style my hair twice a day. Wear a shirt once and throw it out, or better yet, always be naked so you're never without a good view. And I promise to waste hours lounging around looking pretty and complaining about how hard it is to have such a famous wife. You can introduce me to important people, and they'll raise their eyebrows over how you managed to reign in the rebel that was runaway Sirius Black... Personally, I feel like I was born for the role."

Ellie was grinning as she trailed kisses down his jaw. "Can't let that handsome face go to waste, can we?"

He pulled away from her, bottom lip jutting out in a pout. "Will you love me when I'm wrinkly like a prune?"

"I wouldn't have just agreed to marry you if not."

The smile he flashed her was blinding. "It's got to be before Prongs and Lily though. He'll be so pissed we stole his thunder."

Ellie pretended to think for a moment, one finger tapping her lips.

"Well then, if we're going against everything we've ever said..." she began, "why not rival Malfoy and Cissy too? You free in August, puppy?"

"I love you," Sirius whispered in awe.

There was forever in those eyes.