Shadows and Shades (#4 Post-Order 66 Series)

Shadows and Shades - Part 9

I'm an idiot. This was a stupid idea. Why would she forgive me over some food that's probably not even going to be palatable. I'm more likely to make her sick to her stomach, which won't win me any points. If I kill her with my cooking, I'm certain she'll haunt me if she wasn't planning to already.

I just want her to talk to me again.

The slurry was only getting thinner, and his frustration finally got the best of him.

"KARKING HELLS!"

He threw the bowl into the sink in frustration, and metal crashed against metal with a loud clang. Some of the mixture splattered back at him, hitting him in the cheek, and he swore again, leaning his arms against the counter and rubbing his face in frustration.

"Everything alright in here?"

He hadn't heard her return. Iden's voice was quiet, and it made him stiffen. He glanced over his shoulder to find her leaning against the entryway to the kitchen, watching him with that same indiscernible look he spent hours thinking about at night when sleep eluded him.

Those are the first words she's said to me unprompted.

"It's fine. I just..." he sighed, wiping at the smudge of slop across his cheek and growing more frustrated as he felt it smear. "Dammit." The curse was soft, defeated. He turned to rest his back against the counter, his eyes falling to the floor.

Iden's footsteps were quiet as she walked towards him, but his heart thundered with every step that brought her closer to him. He kept his eyes on the floor, noting when her feet appeared between his own. She reached around him to take a dishtowel from where it was hanging over the sink, dampening it under the faucet before she gently took his chin in her hand, wiping away the mess from his face. His breath stuttered at her touch, and in that moment, he realized just how much he'd missed it.

"I...I was trying to make you dinner," he said quietly. "But, uh-" He huffed a mirthless laugh. "Can't even do that right apparently."

He heard her chuckle quietly, and he finally dared to meet her eyes. They were still sad, but there was still that something. Relief? That makes no sense. Regret? She didn't give him another second to think as she slipped her hands into his.

"How about we try again? Together."

A lump rose in his throat. "I-I'd like that. Very much." Iden reached up, resting her hand against his cheek, and he leaned into her touch before turning and placing a kiss to her palm. "Will you forgive me for being a fool?"

"I love you in spite of you being a fool, Crosshair," she joked. He looked at her sharply, and her smile faltered for a moment. "And...I'm tired of being angry with you. I'm just tired now."

He took a hesitant step closer, slowly letting his hands rest on her hips as he tried to find the words he'd been searching for every night, hoping that whatever he'd said would adequately convey his feelings.

"I made a mistake. A few. And they weren't small. I can't promise that I won't make additional ones, but I swear I won't lie to you again. I am the most sorry for the pain I caused you. Can you forgive that?" he asked quietly, almost afraid to hear the answer.

She watched him for a few seconds before she stood on her tiptoes, placing a gentle kiss against his lips and then lowering herself back down to her heels.

"I've never been one to hold a grudge, dear. I don't see the point in starting now." She sighed, rubbing her thumbs over his knuckles. "We've still got work to do to fix this, but I'm willing to try. With you."

The relief at her words overwhelmed him, and before he could think, he pulled her tightly to him, hugging her against his chest. He felt her fingers dig into the back of his shirt as she nuzzled into the fabric.