Hold me tight

14.

"Why? I haven't seen him in years." His hands were shaking and he was sweating.
I just swallowed, I didn't want to talk about, and not in any way to this man. But how do I escape from this situation? He will definitely take another grip of me, and I'm scared that he will do something bad.
If I explain, he will have a peace in his mind. But I know that it will wake up bad memories in me. And then I don't know what my mind is going to do next.
He was waiting, but I knew that his patience is not good. He needs his cocaine, and he will get it no matter what. But I don't have it and I don't know anyone who does.
"Get your drugs from somewhere else and leave me alone." I snapped and turned my back on him, I leave now.
But no, he didn't let me. I felt his hand taking a strong grip from my hand, his nails going deep into my skin. It hurted a lot.
He pulled me closer fast, I still had my back facing him.
"You're not leaving." He whispered against my ear, it made me feel disgusted and anxious.

I already imagined my death, how he will either choke me or torture me. What else to do? Scream?
I really hoped that someone could walk somewhere here and save me. I closed my eyes and wished to be anywhere else than here.
Before he started to talk again, I heard my saving angel's coming closer.
"Hey! Let go of her!" Someone shouted angrily. And right away he did that, I let out a sigh of relief while I opened my eyes.
But it wasn't just someone, it was Joel.
The man disappeared fast while Joel took fast and long steps towards me. I hope I never see that man again, he brought memories I didn't want to remember.
Joel put his hand on my shoulder, looking at me and studying my face.
"What happened? Are you okay?" He asked worried, but still looking behind me to the direction where the man went.
First I was silent, only opening my mouth, not knowing what to answer. I only nodded.
"He was just.. some junkie. I'm fine." I quietly responded. He looked me up and down, nodding slowly and sliding his hand off of me.

"Weren't you guys at Oulu, meeting your families after the gig?" I frowned, looking the taller one in front of me. He put his hands on his jacket's pockets.

"Yeah, we came back today. I was just taking a walk, I needed some air. What about you?" His blue eyes glued on me.
I just shrugged my shoulders, looking at my feet.
"Kinda same.. but I have to go home. Thank you for literally saving me." I thanked him and he just smiled and nodded. He put his sunglasses on and we both continued our ways to different directions.

Before opening the door of my apartment I heard some loud noices from the other apartment, maybe one floor up. Before the key went in the hole, I freezed and listened. A woman and a man were arguing loudly. I zoned out, all those memories from the past started to come up to my mind.
All the bad ones where mom and stepdad were screaming to each other. Where mom got beated up.
Where I layed down on my bed in the middle of the night, I was hiding under the covers, hoping for him to stop. And only wishing for that I wouldn't be his next victim.
Mom tried so hard to make him stop, but he didn't.
Then it was silent for a while, until I heard his steps coming closer to my bedroom's door. I started shaking even more, tears running down from my eyes.
Then mom runned to the door, not letting him in.
He shouted to her.
"Move away, bitch!" He said angrily. I covered my mouth with my hand, so he wouldn't hear me sobbing.
I was only a child.

"You're not taking my daughter!" I remember mom answering, panicked but still protecting me.
Then he started beating her again. And I didn't sleep for the whole night, I was too scared. It was so silent.

Suddenly I dropped the keys to the ground, and that's what made me back to earth.
I kneeled down and took them, then fastly opened the door with my shaking hands.

I started crying, I couldn't control it. I wanted it to stop, but the memories were hitting me again and again. I went in, but I didn't close the front door completely. I was panicking, I was scared that someone was in the apartment with me.
I didn't feel like I was alone.
Then I heard like something dropped in my bedroom, it made me stop crying for a second, I also freezed.
"Hey.. hey..." I heard some whispering. My eyes widened open, but I didn't make any move.
But the tears kept falling down from my eyes, I tasted those saulty drops in my mouth that I kept open.

"Hey.. I'm here..." Something whispered again.
I panicked even more, accidentally I let out a small sob. It was deadly silent, so it was my time to make fast moves. I runned to my balcony and closed the door behind me. For the whole time when I ran, it felt like someone was chasing me. I felt so uncomfortable and panicked.
Who the fuck was in my apartment?!
I leaned against the railing, and the wind was playing with my hair. Some of it glued on my face because of the tears.
I know I'm not alone. There is someone.

"Saga? You there?" I heard a familiar sounding voice from the street. Carefully I looked down, it was Joonas.
It made me feel relieved, but still I was scared as hell. Someone was fucking whispering from my bedroom, and I think it's right behind the balcony door, waiting for me to open it.
I didn't want to shout him back, what if the thing hears me and it's coming to get me?
But what if.. what if I jump off from here?
I know it's a long way down and I maybe not survive, but which is worse, jumping off or waiting for that thing to come and kill me?

"Saga! What is it?" Joonas shouted, but I didn't dare to answer. I only leaned further, placing a finger between my lips, as a sign to stay silent.
But I saw him running to the door and opening it, coming inside of the building. I was feeling scared, I'm scared that I had turned my back on the balcony door. What if the thing is there, looking at me behind the glass?
I didn't dare to turn around, but I kept leaning further and further.
Almost falling off from the balcony. It felt kinda calming. The wind was here with me.

Oh no.. what is going to happen?
Thank you so much for reading this story, every vote and comment is also meaning a lot to me <3
Next chapter coming on tuesday!
Sending hugs, stay safe and strong you all🖤