Always with you (Dreamnapfound)

Chapter 11

   “Right.”

   “Do you want to go get breakfast?” George says hopefully, “We can go eat and then face Sapnap together.”

   George and I decide on a small bagel shop in town, eating in awkward silence. I'm sure George's mind is on what Sap said while I'm preoccupied pushing down the feelings of anxiety bubbling inside from the thought of being rejected. I can't keep pushing off the conversation but that doesn't stop me from thinking about just leaving, then I remember we're going to my own house and don't have much of a choice.

   Once the food is finished George buys something to go for Sapnap and we're on the way to my house. When the car pulls into the driveway I feel my chest seize up and I have to close my eyes and take a breath.

   "Are you okay Dream?" George's voice is tentative, like he doesn't know what to say.

   "Yeah, sorry, you're the one who should be nervous."

   "Stop," he scolds, "You're allowed to feel things too. Let's just get inside okay?"

   "Yeah. Okay."

   Before George and I even make it to the door, Sapnap runs out and almost tackles George in a hug, "George oh my god I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have taken out my frustration on you, especially not like that."

   I watch George push Sapnap away, taking a breath before giving a soft smile, "I'm sorry too, I didn't need to bring up your father."

   "George no-"

   "Just take the apology. And we can talk more later. Right now I think we need to talk to Dream."

   Sapnap turns to look at me and I can see a look of annoyance flash across his face before he tries to give me a smile.

   "Can we go inside?" I ask quietly.

   "Of course."

   We make it up to my bedroom and I wince slightly walking in, remembering the events of yesterday and seeing the mess I'd left. Taking a seat on the edge of my bed, I bounce my leg anxiously. George sits down next to me, while Sapnap has to be encouraged to walk into the room, still refusing to sit and instead standing awkwardly in front of me.

   “Okay,” I say softly, “What do I need to know?”

   “You’re an idiot.”

   “Sapnap!” George scolds.

   “I know.”

   “Dream!”

   George picks up my hand, folding his fingers with mine, “I’ll start since Sapnap is horrible at explaining.”

   “Hey! I had a plan on where to go with that.”

   “Dream, I’m sorry,” my heart sinks, “Sap and I are just as bad with feelings as you are. We’re just as new to the idea of polyamory as well, and sleeping with you wasn’t the best way to try and describe our feelings to you.”

   “You said something like that earlier, that's not telling me what those feelings are.”

   “Use your brain idiot,” Sapnap spoke up, glaring back at George for his words, “This is the opposite of being rejected, George is saying we slept with you instead of telling you about our feelings because we were also scared of you rejecting us. It was stupid and rude and confusing and we’re sorry, we never meant for you to feel like we only wanted you for a hole in our relationship.”

   I stare at my raven haired best friend before George speaks up, “We want you in every way we can have you Dream. I want to hold your hand, kiss you, and go on dates.”

   Georges free hand reaches up to wipe tears from my eyes and I wonder briefly when I started crying, “I’m fucking dumb.”

   “Yeah you are,” Sapnap blurts out, “Can we hug now?”

   Instead of using my words I answer by falling into George's arms and sobbing. It’s not long before I feel Sapnaps own arms around me as well as I let more tears fall.

   “Do you want to take a nap Dream?” George whispers, “I’m sure you’re still feeling the hangover. We can talk more when you’re awake.”

   Before I answer George starts pulling away, “Wait-”

   He pushes hair out of my face, “I’ll be back, I’m going to grab you some water for you. Sapnap will stay with you while I’m gone.”

   I reluctantly let George go, turning instead to bury my face into Sapnaps shoulder. He shifts slightly, leading me under the covers before letting me grab onto him tightly, “I’m sorry.”

   “Dream, it's okay.”

   “It’s not, I’m sorry,” I push.

   “It is,” he replies, “I know you want to apologise, and you can, we still have a lot to talk about. But we all need some sleep first, okay?”

   “Mhm,” I mumble, already feeling the exhaustion build. I close my eyes and let Sapnap play with my hair. His gentle movements help me relax, and I fall deeper. The last thing I remember before letting sleep takeover was George climbing into the bed as well, complaining slightly about the lack of room.