Beneath Her Skin

Chapter Thirty-Three

"There is somebody else who must be mentioned in connection with Cedric's death, I am talking, of course, about Harry Potter." Alastriona didn't glance at Harry, as almost every other person in the Great Hall did, instead she focused on Professor Dumbledore. "Harry Potter managed to escape Lord Voldemort. He risked his own life to return Cedric's body to Hogwarts. He showed, in every respect, the sort of bravery that few wizards have ever shown in facing Lord Voldemort, and for this, I honour him."

Alastriona stood at once. She was eternally grateful for his efforts. She raised her glass to him, at the Slytherin table she could see Theo, Blaise, even Draco, standing up for him, at the far end of the table Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy and Millicent remained seated and Alastriona felt her blood boil as they snickered amongst each other.
She struggled to remain where she was. She wanted to go up to them and hex them all for their blatant disrespect and she nearly did. Then she met Draco's stormy gaze at the Slytherin table and the anger surging within her calmed ever so slightly and the longer she met his stare the calmer she became.

Professor Dumbledore continued on as the students sat down again. "The Triwizard Tournament's aim was to further and promote magical understanding. In light of what has happened - of Lord Voldemort's return - such ties are more important than ever before." He stared at both Durmstrang and their students as well as the Beauxbatons Academy's students. "Every guest in this Hall, will be welcomed back here at any time, should they wish to come. I say to you all, once again - in the light of Lord Voldemort's return, we are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided. Lord Voldemort's gift for spreading discord and enmity is very great. We can fight it only by showing an equally strong bond of friendship and trust. Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open. It is my belief - and never have I hoped so that I am mistaken - that we are all facing dark and difficult times. Some of you in this Hall have already suffered directly at the hands of Lord Voldemort. Many of your families have been torn asunder. A week ago, a student was taken from our midst." Alastriona's eyes flickered back to Professor Dumbledore and she clenched her teeth together in an effort to prevent herself from bursting into hysteric sobs.

Professor Dumbledore looked around at all of his students, "Remember Cedric. Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory." 

Alastriona remained seated as everyone left the Great Hall. She stared at the spot in front of her where her plate used to be. 

"Red," Alastriona turned on the bench and stared somewhat vacantly up at Darcy who was waiting for her, "do you think we'll be okay?" She asked nervously. Professor Dumbledore's speech had shocked her more than she'd care to admit.

Alastriona sniffed and wiped away the remnants of tears, she stood up and smiled tiredly at Darcy. "Of course we will be." She was smiling but the tension never left her body. "I won't let anything else happen to our loved ones again." She claimed. Partly to reassure Darcy but mostly to make the promise to herself, she swore that she wouldn't let anyone else she loved die because there was no way she could survive this kind of pain again.

Alastriona found Tracey Davis sitting alone in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express and sat down opposite her.
"You know, you could join us, you'd be more than welcome." Alastriona offered.

Tracey nodded. "Thank you." She said. "I actually wanted to talk you though." Alastriona gave her a smile as if to say 'go ahead'. "Something's been bothering you, and yes I know you're grieving but something more than that. Every time you're with Draco for a split second you're happy and then you just... shut down." Tracey gestured to the compartment, "I know we aren't secret bathroom friends anymore but I'm still as happy to listen to you as always." 

Alastriona rubbed a hand over her face. "You're very observant, Tracey." She said softly and glanced at the closed compartment door. "Before Cedric— before he went into the maze he told me something-" she groaned and shook her head, she hadn't wanted to talk about this and yet Tracey managed to make her feel safe enough to spill all her secrets. "He told me he loved me." She breathed the words out so quietly Tracey almost missed them. When she met Tracey's gaze her eyes were filled with unshed tears. "I was so shocked and I didn't—" she ran a hand through her tangled curls. "I didn't say it back."

"Because you didn't love him in that way." Tracey stated softly. "Alastriona, nothing could've changed the outcome of that night. It wouldn't have changed anything if you had said it back even if you had meant it or not." 

Alastriona nodded but there was still doubt in her mind, and guilt, so much guilt. "I told Draco that I love him," she could see the shock on Tracey's face and she rushed to say, "and I do, I do love him but now every time I say it..."

Tracey had a sympathetic smile on her face. "You think of Cedric." She sighed when Alastriona nodded. "And you haven't told him what Cedric said." She guessed.

"I've only told you." Alastriona confirmed. "A part of me wants to be honest but then there's this selfish part of me that thinks his words were just for me, no one else, and I want to keep it that way."

Tracey leaned forward in her seat, "There's nothing wrong with that, you can keep it to yourself as a bittersweet memory. But you don't need to feel guilty when you tell Draco you love him. Cedric wasn't expecting anything from you, he just wanted to tell you and that's enough. I didn't know him very well but I really can't believe he'd be upset with you for being in love, Alastriona."

Alastriona thought for a second and let out a humourless laugh, "No, of course he wouldn't be." She met Tracey's gaze. "Thank you, Tracey." She said sincerely. 

Tracey shrugged and stood up, "Anytime you need me I promise I'll be right by your side." She held out her hand, "Come on, let's go sit with the others."

Alastriona took her hand with a smile but before they left the compartment she wrapped the tall girl up in a strong hug, she'd never appreciated their odd friendship more than she had that day.